tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9722897566425567452024-02-20T23:02:26.933-06:00Make of it What You Will...A line from the book "Peace Like River" by Leif Enger. I want to bear witness to the things I've seen and the ways God moves in my life, and you can make of it what you will.--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.comBlogger192125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-54852218050381806812018-04-30T12:22:00.001-05:002018-04-30T12:22:34.461-05:00Solitaire Observations<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcGNx-bJ7Dg7laYnIg49qnHibhlIsxTXCUYQg92ZBq1QFfI1JsvVGUIUV5tOmm_YgRQ4yk2Hn-3Y3gqlNXvqLul59yDA94FKzUEvZ37i8K_rBVZi7bfCd8aDcc-cQiQo8RQ4M1uNfaUqun/s1600/IMG_6770.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcGNx-bJ7Dg7laYnIg49qnHibhlIsxTXCUYQg92ZBq1QFfI1JsvVGUIUV5tOmm_YgRQ4yk2Hn-3Y3gqlNXvqLul59yDA94FKzUEvZ37i8K_rBVZi7bfCd8aDcc-cQiQo8RQ4M1uNfaUqun/s320/IMG_6770.JPG" width="240" height="320" data-original-width="1200" data-original-height="1600" /></a></div>I play Solitaire on my iPad when I have time to kill. There is something soothing about just barely touching the cards and seeing them fly to their new address on the screen. At the risk of being too introspective, I'm sharing a couple of things that have occurred to me while playing this silly game.<br />
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I usually play the Hard level, and my tablet reminds me that "not all Hard games are winnable". It's an interesting choice to have to make. If I'm playing a Medium game and I lose, then I definitely did something wrong, because they are always winnable. One can replay a game over and over until it's a win. I can learn how to beat the computer. If I paly a Hard game and don't win, I can believe it just couldn't be won. What kind of game would you play?<br />
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I've learned in my gazillions of games that sometimes the winning strategy is to not always play everything you can play the first time it's presented to you. Sometimes waiting will actually allow for more possibilities to be uncovered, leading to the win. Good things, the "right" things may be in front of you, available. But the best time to play that card may not be now. What good things are in front of you today? When is the best time to play that card?<br />
--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-11090844185954135042018-04-03T09:56:00.001-05:002018-04-03T09:56:33.109-05:00The Prodigal Luggage<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMQE_qLoHYP5PDgu6sPufJZZ8GHulxMi_EKGYHDDALgR4QbeciE550WGF7-rs0HgCopwr25T4tV171JdYmKMRFaVBFS8A8vIT2Z7ZtVV4n5hsBEhy9dkp00126Y4h-J3STPdZAp3-rK0i3/s1600/IMG_6737.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMQE_qLoHYP5PDgu6sPufJZZ8GHulxMi_EKGYHDDALgR4QbeciE550WGF7-rs0HgCopwr25T4tV171JdYmKMRFaVBFS8A8vIT2Z7ZtVV4n5hsBEhy9dkp00126Y4h-J3STPdZAp3-rK0i3/s200/IMG_6737.jpg" width="168" height="200" data-original-width="1340" data-original-height="1600" /></a></div><br />
We returned Friday from a quick Spring Break trip to see my mom in Arizona. My bag had an extended vacation and finally returned home just after midnight last night, so technically, Tuesday. I've never had this happen before. Do we all kind of wonder while watching the bags go around on the carousel if it will be our turn to have lost luggage? This time was my time. <br />
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It shocks me to find so many emotions attached to my stuff. It is just stuff, after all. But as the days crawled by and still no word about my bag, I began to inventory in my mind what I had in it. A favorite pair of sandals that were bought on clearance at least 3 years ago. Worth nothing monetarily speaking, but irreplaceable. My whole skin care regimen, worth a ton surprisingly, and a hassle to replace. And since I went 3 days without it, I shall now be wrinkled and blemished forever. Just stuff that I can make jokes about now, but I was actually a little distraught during the time of waiting. That is not who I want to be.<br />
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My bag has a story, one that I'll never know. I have bits of information. The gal at the Central Baggage Office at O'Hare told me that it was found in Phoenix; the paper sticker tag from the airline had fallen off (how does that happen?) and that fortunately, since I had a big protected plastic tag of my own attached to it, they contacted every airline until they found the one we had flown on to figure out where it should go. But when the uber driver (really.) knocked on our door just after midnight (really.) and gave us the bag, the plastic tag was not on it. There's just a paper tag attached to the handle that says "Julie Dahlberg, Wildwood, IL" with no other information. Everything seems to be in the bag, just as I packed it, so I believe that the fancy tag is how my bag got back to me, but where's that tag? Why would someone take that? Where, what, who, why??? I just won't know.<br />
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I am grateful to have my suitcase returned, unharmed. All is right again, and there are many lessons to be learned. I'm sitting right now with the idea that there's a story, and there always is one. My bag would've had a story even if it had been on the carousel for me. We have stories. We carry them with us and they mark us. All the people we encounter have stories. Some we may get to know, some maybe never. Obviously, I have work to do if a suitcase full of missing belongings can leave me distraught. I want to try to hold loosely the stuff, and be sensitive to the stories, whether they are shared with me or not.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjW-Jc7mhMzndCCd0bupoLTMFsDWuN9BPMQXymdZh61EpJjzbwR5LFdT2HaISw6C3R_jZ08d3RjzZV1xRMwqVYX68YsdU3D-qaIVJt7EB5HO-hbK2scCPehhepAvDxeY23Utiun3RSy5Fa/s1600/IMG_6736.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjW-Jc7mhMzndCCd0bupoLTMFsDWuN9BPMQXymdZh61EpJjzbwR5LFdT2HaISw6C3R_jZ08d3RjzZV1xRMwqVYX68YsdU3D-qaIVJt7EB5HO-hbK2scCPehhepAvDxeY23Utiun3RSy5Fa/s320/IMG_6736.JPG" width="320" height="320" data-original-width="1600" data-original-height="1600" /></a></div><br />
--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-89103649951951472522018-02-08T09:04:00.000-06:002018-02-08T09:04:13.249-06:00Milkshake, Anyone?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNl7UtrQdReC9plE4_j3fAt9Z5LYGaNjwDrN2_wyrEWIPlG_M_KOkOyKAIBMVRYvJeRr0z3o9v9BwzkzoVbNjrMCATGNcfTNz9DahWlFdjgxgC5Tgod3OmUcl3LrM1Tq6pTi9mMIuUnUsu/s1600/39ed3f8321fe9c53bf1ba0a0722b5e5b5a22ddfb.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNl7UtrQdReC9plE4_j3fAt9Z5LYGaNjwDrN2_wyrEWIPlG_M_KOkOyKAIBMVRYvJeRr0z3o9v9BwzkzoVbNjrMCATGNcfTNz9DahWlFdjgxgC5Tgod3OmUcl3LrM1Tq6pTi9mMIuUnUsu/s200/39ed3f8321fe9c53bf1ba0a0722b5e5b5a22ddfb.jpeg" width="133" height="200" data-original-width="531" data-original-height="800" /></a></div><br />
I have a beautiful brand-new kitchen (4 years old) and it is my favorite place in the house. It's bright, warm, functional, and colorful. I try to be generous with my kitchen; I let other people use it and mess it up. But truthfully, I do think of it as MY kitchen. Perhaps that's wrong of me. Maybe I'll explore that someday. Probably not. So, as I think of it as my space, I do have some standing requests of others when they use it. Like, when you spill on the counter, clean-up is easiest immediately following the spill. It takes a lot more effort to clean off dried up, turned-into-cement gunk than it does to wipe up right away. If I had a nickel for everytime....Broken record, anyone?<br />
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A milkshake was made last night. Drips were dropped on the counter. They were left there overnight. I'm not naming any names. This is a perfect example of something that would be nothing to wipe up when it happened, but instead takes actual elbow grease this morning. It's good to keep my muscles working. There was one kinda big blob that didn't want to leave the counter, so rather than fight with it, I put a damp paper towel on it and walked away. When I came back 30 minutes later, it was rehydrated and came up easy-peasy. <br />
<br />
Listen, drips happen. The only way to be guaranteed drip-free is to be milkshake-free, and nobody wants that. Do we recognize that after the drips, we have choices about how to deal with them? Do we choose immediate attention, deferred attention and then full-on wrestling, or softening and waiting? <br />
<br />
We make choices all the time. I like to choose on purpose. The first step is to recognize that I am in fact, making a choice, then pick the one I really want. Milkshakes for everyone!<br />
--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-28167181435257332862018-01-30T12:29:00.001-06:002018-01-30T12:29:45.165-06:00Keep Bending<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0PLkFm2T7uSg53daWswt9SvEyZHW3DfTfAfYrP83ijTGYqE5M-PpgwIaT0U9jMreXoCH8xbS52-cXngtXy5baskvPT5Y_rrL0EqtSBNWiXlP1GhaetMaM4tJuEjKDPsX6WoV_qsI8B7yi/s1600/IMG_6613.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0PLkFm2T7uSg53daWswt9SvEyZHW3DfTfAfYrP83ijTGYqE5M-PpgwIaT0U9jMreXoCH8xbS52-cXngtXy5baskvPT5Y_rrL0EqtSBNWiXlP1GhaetMaM4tJuEjKDPsX6WoV_qsI8B7yi/s320/IMG_6613.jpg" width="320" height="216" data-original-width="1600" data-original-height="1079" /></a></div><br />
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Yesterday (or maybe Sunday, depending on who you want to believe on the internet) was National Puzzle Day. I wish I had known beforehand. I would have celebrated. Over Christmas break, our family did a jigsaw puzzle. That's a very generous description of what happened. The puzzle was laid out on one end of the kitchen table. It was available at all times for the whole family. And I think everyone who entered our house found the right place for a piece or few. But the truth is, jigsaw puzzles are actually only fun for me. The rest of the family tolerates them. This year I ambitiously chose a 1,500 piece puzzle. Almost bit off more than I could chew, and by the time we were finished, I didn't even like it anymore. But since I spent so much time ruminating over that puzzle, I did have some thoughts that I'll share.<br />
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A few years ago, I wrote a <a href="http://juliedahlberg.blogspot.com/2012/11/bend-little.html">blog post</a> that still rings true. (Thankfully, I am not still where I was when all of those were written. God is good, and He helps us grow.) The post was about a phrase I use often, and found myself uttering repeatedly as I pored over that infernal puzzle, searching for a particular piece. "Sometimes you have to bend." I did so much bending, my back ached. But bending is required when you really want to find something. That was the point of my original post; that what we are looking for doesn't always appear before us--sometimes we need to do a little digging.<br />
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One of the beauties of a brand-new jigsaw puzzle is that all of the pieces ARE there. They don't vaporize, they don't disappear. If you keep looking, you'll find all of the pieces and they'll fit together perfectly. (Having cats in the house can present an extra challenge, as pieces do get relocated.) There is comfort in knowing that each piece is right there somewhere, and it will all come together. There is also frustration, when you know it should be doable, but you just can't make it work. And I guess that's my point today. The frustration can't win. In order to complete a puzzle--even an infernal one--I have to keep bending. Bend right through the aching, or try looking from a different angle. I have to hold on to the belief that what I'm looking for IS there.<br />
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I am waiting for answers and direction. Bending might look like taking a few steps forward in one direction. It can look like embarking on a new path. I might need to move so I can look from a different perspective. Bending might look like studying Scripture. It might look like surrendering my will. Whatever bending might mean to you today, may you hold on to the belief that what you are looking for IS there, and keep searching.<br />
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And here's some belated National Puzzle Day encouragement from the Bible, "Let the wise listen to these proverbs and become even wiser. Let those with understanding receive guidance by exploring the meaning in these proverbs and parables, the words of the wise and their riddles. Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."(Proverbs 1:5-7 NLT)<br />
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--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-1852757411373218332017-05-01T11:08:00.000-05:002017-05-01T11:08:35.651-05:00Lessons in the CarWaiting is hard. Why? What's the big deal?<br />
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I was going to meet a friend this morning, either at her doctor's office or at a restaurant, depending on where she was after I completed my other obligations. The plan was that she'd text me and let me know when her appointment was complete. If it went quickly, we'd celebrate at breakfast. If it was long, I'd be a friendly face waiting for her when she got out. So at 7:33, I'm in the school parking lot, wondering which way I should go as I exit. Do I head south towards her doctor's office? Do I go north in the direction of possible breakfast joints? Do I go westward home and wait for word? Do I pull over, stay put for a minute or two, until I hear from my friend? "Aghh, I don't want to sit still and wait. I'll go towards the doctor's office," I tell myself. "I haven't heard from her, so that's probably where she still is." And of course, at 7:35, just barely into my journey south, but no way to turn around; I'm committed. I get a text from her, let's go north to breakfast. It all worked out fine, of course. But she did have to wait 10 minutes or so for me, and the whole point of meeting her in the first place was to provide moral support for this kind of anxious appointment, and now I've just added annoyance to her day. And I put myself in a position where I was looking at my phone while driving.<br />
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What is it that makes sitting still and waiting so hard? If I'd waited two minutes, I would have saved gas, been safer, and shown up on time! Yes, I am overthinking this particular situation, but there is a lesson here. "I feel a blog post coming on," I told myself in the car. I haven't written anything on here for four years. There's probably a lesson there, too, but meh. I can relate to David and his Psalms, because he too, had a tendency to overthink.<br />
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Teach me how to live, O Lord.<br />
Lead me along the right path,<br />
for my enemies are waiting for me.<br />
Do not let me fall into their hands.<br />
For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;<br />
with every breath they threaten me with violence.<br />
Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness<br />
while I am here in the land of the living.<br />
Wait patiently for the Lord.<br />
Be brave and courageous.<br />
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. (Psalms 27:11-14 NLT)<br />
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I wanted to be in motion this morning. Being on the move, even if it's in the wrong direction, somehow feels better or more productive than waiting. What a lie! I fell for it. The "enemy" in this case was in my own head. The wise choice this morning would have been to wait. Hold still. I notice that when I do wait, I'm not very patient about it. I fuss and complain, I worry and wring my hands. There are good things available to me when I wait. Not the least of which is clarity about the best way to go when the time is right for going. God has things to show me, and if I'm always in motion--my whole car or just my mouth--I will miss out. <br />
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--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-32677338847683691612013-06-07T09:19:00.001-05:002013-06-07T09:19:33.176-05:00Green Thumb? Not me....<br />
When Luke was in kindergarten, he had the most wonderful teacher's assistant. She told Luke her favorite flower was Lupine, and he wanted to try to plant some. We mentioned it to our neighbor across the street, who had some lupine growing, and that Fall, he gave us some seeds from that plant. We held on to them until the next Spring, and then planted them in a big pot, so that we could nurture the seedling, watch its progress, and not lose track of it in our big bed of mostly weeds. The plan was to eventually transfer the plant, once it grew strong enough, into the larger bed. It never got strong or big. We had saved some of the seeds, so the next year, we did the same thing, and had about the same experience, though I did go ahead and transfer the tiny thing, thinking maybe the pot just wasn't a happy place. Alas, we never got any lupine, and I added it to my list of many plant failures. That was 5 or 6 years ago. Luke just finished 8th grade.<br />
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So years later, lupine experiments long forgotten, look at what happened this Spring. Do you see that picture? That is LUPINE! It's growing up in our weedy bed, it's big, and flowering, which means it'll be making seeds for more lupine next year. It did this with no help or nurturing from us. <br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMQI7sRsXR3lfnCTe55R7e6t4ODYXDxK6Dzw_BTo29Wx3idBtEhM8ozmVQ3Yj4u85oq3j01BPEs3GytIOUvErnMtDBpq2rE_2AOVyL6aDF3GGIw1DPnFICSifbQrKAZdvr0j0UOjxXaZk1/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMQI7sRsXR3lfnCTe55R7e6t4ODYXDxK6Dzw_BTo29Wx3idBtEhM8ozmVQ3Yj4u85oq3j01BPEs3GytIOUvErnMtDBpq2rE_2AOVyL6aDF3GGIw1DPnFICSifbQrKAZdvr0j0UOjxXaZk1/s320/photo.JPG" /></a><br />
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I blog for a few reasons:<br />
⋄I want to record sightings of God's activity in my life, and share these with others.<br />
⋄When I'm looking for God's activity, I'm more likely to see it, and so around and round we go.<br />
⋄It gives me a bit of discipline in my writing ways.<br />
<br />
I see God's activity in this lupine. It's amazing. I'm sharing it on this blog, and you can "make of it what you will."<br />
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I'm going back to James, who wrote, "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way." (James 1:2-4 The Message) I am in a difficult season, there are tests and challenges, and my first instinct is not to see it as a gift. But the growth IS happening. Our surprise lupine is proof! Of course, we always get weeds that grow mightily without our care, we know all plants don't need attention to grow. But I want to be growing the good stuff in my heart. Here is something in the plant world that I started long ago, but gave up and forgot all about. So is there something like that in me? God can do the nurturing and tending, and bring up something beautiful and fruitful. That is the gift.--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-70913278568405590572013-05-31T09:05:00.001-05:002013-05-31T09:05:15.827-05:00Sneaky Weeds<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6Kwo5B7_GQO_fzzmd-yUBlrJVRNIynqPhw_V6Jfi_tIQu2nMlwlP8xXxwphGqbZpQnWUH78AJ_C25ITCwrVLiYT_rKTyuvyTMkBKs6-dawDjE-4-uZOzF1E_RJUNSv6Pq_rUpvc8KHCZt/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6Kwo5B7_GQO_fzzmd-yUBlrJVRNIynqPhw_V6Jfi_tIQu2nMlwlP8xXxwphGqbZpQnWUH78AJ_C25ITCwrVLiYT_rKTyuvyTMkBKs6-dawDjE-4-uZOzF1E_RJUNSv6Pq_rUpvc8KHCZt/s320/photo.JPG" /></a><br />
A gardening wizard, I am not. I do however, seem to be a master at cultivating thistles. I was out attacking them yesterday, and noticed something interesting. Weeds are very sneaky things. They are chameleon-like. They hide themselves among the wanted plants, and even though they were all thistles, they seemed to be able to make themselves blend in with their neighbors. If they've snuck in with the short little flowery things (no idea what they are), they stay low with broad stems and spread-out leaves. If they're in among the tall, wispy anemones (ok, I know one thing), they grow up with a skinny stem, and flimsy leaves. Regardless of the look they happen to be sporting, they all have prickly, poky thorns that make getting rid of them a painful job. I was amazed by this. I thought a patch would be completely thistle-free, and then, upon closer inspection, find a couple more trying to pass themselves off as something I want.<br />
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Jesus told a few parables about seeds and weeds. My thistles reminded me of the farmer throwing seed on the different kinds of soil. Jesus said the seeds that fell in among the thorns eventually were choked out, and the weeds took over. As He later explained the parable to His disciples, He said, "The seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God’s word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life and the lure of wealth, so no fruit is produced." (Matthew 13:22 NLT) I've been aware of the crowding and noisiness of the weeds in my life. What struck me yesterday is how the weeds can be deceiving, and can make themselves look (or hear, as Jesus explains) like something acceptable. Closer inspection--viewer discretion advised!--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-66513509652987618002013-05-07T08:24:00.001-05:002013-05-07T08:25:10.541-05:00Evidence<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGJh5kX32KrCmIi9ppSaoVSL1ZxubA-vyPlczy-VdDBCN-HHUUkrYm0b7Te94aYYeUvpFN20VxP2d1utxVezWuFd-Vsydoni8IJN708jhLsZREqMX-TBI1WDZfzRUAuL9uuGvLtCRUS_Iw/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGJh5kX32KrCmIi9ppSaoVSL1ZxubA-vyPlczy-VdDBCN-HHUUkrYm0b7Te94aYYeUvpFN20VxP2d1utxVezWuFd-Vsydoni8IJN708jhLsZREqMX-TBI1WDZfzRUAuL9uuGvLtCRUS_Iw/s320/photo.JPG" /></a><br />
Last night, Lily and I dug up all of my old journals. She's dying to read them. There's 21 of them, and I have no idea what all is in there. May not be, probably definitely not, age appropriate. So I told her she can read them when she's the same age I was when I wrote them.<br />
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Kind of funny just glancing through them. I have the ones where I was experimenting with colored pencils and drawing... I have always loved a good stationery store, and fine pens. You can see that in the old journals, the phases of loving to write in green ink, the ink cartridge and calligraphy-tipped pen, the super-fine pink felt-tip pen. <br />
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In keeping with looking for joy in struggles--looking for joy in growth that comes from struggles--I do believe there has been growth over the years. There is evidence in my journals. I am not where I was in 1986, 1993, or even 2012. Praise the LORD!--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-14729924987457141352013-05-01T10:27:00.000-05:002013-05-01T10:27:18.350-05:00Show Me the WayThe computer desk is dusty. Papers from months ago are stacked and there are cobwebs hanging around the bookshelf above. I haven't sat down here in ages. I'm waiting for inspiration, for God to give me something to write. But I've not been waiting well. I believe there is such a thing as waiting well. Opening your heart, listening, looking for direction, these are actions that go with good waiting. That hasn't been my MO lately. Don't misunderstand, I haven't been running around. I've been here, but I have filled my head (and so my heart) with noise. I've busied my fingers with my phone and ipad, filled my ears with television and radio. <br />
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In a way, I've been daring God to show me how He wants to use me in this chapter of my life. I go through an ugly cycle of not wanting to hear, afraid He might want too much of me; feeling guilty about that; then wanting to hear; pleading; getting frustrated that answers don't come instantly, that there isn't a giant arrow pointing me the way; and even getting angry; and so, not wanting to hear. Back to the beginning.<br />
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Today, I don't know what is next. I feel a bit stuck, still wrestling with my dad's death. The sadness is hanging over me, and I know there is more sadness to come. Then I remember that verse in James 1, "when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy." Ugh. How?! I can get hung up on the joy thing in verse 2, thinking I must somehow manufacture joy, be happy that I'm in a struggle. The key is in the next verse. It saves me. Verse 3 says, "For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow." Rather than focusing on making joy, I want to try to pay attention to growth. Growth brings joy.<br />
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Here we are, Spring is springing everywhere today in the Chicago area as we enjoy our third or fourth day of sunshine and temperatures above 60. It's glorious, and things that have been growing are actually blooming. I don't know that I'm quite blooming, but a lot of growth happened with my daffodils before they opened up this weekend. And there's more growth (and blooming!) still to come with the late Spring flowers. So perhaps I am growing, coming up out of the dirt, still fighting to get through the old leaves from last year. <br />
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In the past when I've asked God to show me what He wants me to do, or where He wants me to go, I've asked Him to open doors for me, show me the way. And He did, I remember His clear answers when I was trying to figure out where to go to college, when I was searching for jobs post-college, and when we were looking for a church family to join. The other day, I had a thought that while I'm waiting I should go ahead and take some small steps forward, in one direction or another, and ask God to close doors that are not where He wants to use me. This is not the same as sitting and waiting for Him to just lay a path before me. Maybe this is waiting well? I am actively moving now, asking for <i>re</i>direction, rather than expecting a wide open, well-marked, full-of-signage path. As it says in Proverbs: "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." <br />
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I think I'll start by tidying up this desk.--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-31237063902097367552012-11-19T07:53:00.000-06:002012-11-19T07:53:41.629-06:00Bend a Little"Do we have any sour cream?" Scott asks as he opens the fridge. <br />
"Yes," I say. He stands there waiting for it to step forward, I guess, or do a little dance for him so that he can see it. But I just buy the regular kind, not the dancing kind. He can't see it. <br />
"It's on the bottom shelf, in the back." No response. I know it's there. I just saw it yesterday, while looking for something else. I remember years ago, talking to a friend about how the folks in this family just can't find anything. They're bad lookers, I say. She told me what her mom always used to say when she was growing up, "Sometimes you have to bend!" And I have adopted that phrase as my own. It's kind of an abbreviated version of saying I know it's there, I just saw it. It means, please don't make me stop what I'm doing to come and find whatever you're looking for. You can do it. It's there. And I use this phrase with everyone in the family. It just so happens I most recently used it on Scott. I throw it out to him, still waiting for the sour cream to appear. He bends, and sure enough! <br />
"Ah yes, here it is!" Success.<br />
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We're studying James in my Bible Study group, and that bending idea came up in the latest lesson. James 1:22-25 says, "But don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.(NLT) We learned that the original Greek word for the phrase at the end to "look carefully" or "look intently" means "to stoop down, or looking by bending over." Wow!<br />
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In these last months, I have known that I need to be in the Word, need to be going to God as I struggle with grief. And how many times have I sat with my Bible and asked the Lord, "Do you have anything for me?" I've been hoping that it will step forward, and do a dance, so I can see it. But I haven't really tried <i>bending</i>. Time for me to really dig in. --juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-56718525642766268802012-10-18T13:27:00.000-05:002012-10-18T13:32:52.844-05:00Hoping... It's been almost 7 months since my dad passed away. I want so much to be on the other side of the grieving. I am still so tender, so sad. The Holidays are coming and sadness comes over me in waves like nausea. It feels like it's always simmering just under the surface and I keep breathing and try to hold it in. Or I succumb, and cry out.<br />
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I want to be able to share the things I've learned, the ways I've grown, the ways God has provided for our family, and how God has used this terribly sad thing to draw me closer to Him. But that just isn't where I am yet. I have faith, though. Thank God! It says in Hebrews, "Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see." (Hebrews 11:1 NLT) <br />
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I'm holding onto that hope, unable to see all the good in this sadness just yet, but believing that it will happen. It takes time, I've been told a million times. I've never been good at waiting.--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-9168341878519327612012-04-17T10:28:00.000-05:002012-04-17T10:28:12.857-05:00The Best Laid Plans<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioM3InxiwL6A-7YQW_tNxnGEapFgcY6-e0UKLKNDQ6h9kAzl4N-Fwlh25if7mv9X62BymBGUD54X-VMK5KcC43Z4J1ugEd2flW2P4abOmPxDR-G5iNfnUlnUJDA6-nU51bChuFoIGO-D2s/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear:left; float:left;margin-right:1em; margin-bottom:1em"><img border="0" height="320" width="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioM3InxiwL6A-7YQW_tNxnGEapFgcY6-e0UKLKNDQ6h9kAzl4N-Fwlh25if7mv9X62BymBGUD54X-VMK5KcC43Z4J1ugEd2flW2P4abOmPxDR-G5iNfnUlnUJDA6-nU51bChuFoIGO-D2s/s320/photo.JPG" /></a></div>At the Milwaukee airport, once you've made it through security you are greeted by a big sign that reads, "Recombobulation Area". There are benches so you can sit down and put your shoes back on, and put your self back together after spilling everything out into the gray bins. Every airport has one of these areas after security, but sweet Milwaukee airport is kind enough to give it signage. Something about that sign makes one feel like they acknowledge that they've just disorganized you and torn all of your belongings apart; it almost feels like an apology.<br />
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My father passed away almost a month ago now, after 69 days of intensive care in a hospital three hours away from my home. In the grand scheme of things, that wasn't such a long time to fight illness. Many have battled for years. But for me, those days were difficult because there was urgency each day, and it felt like 69 days of crisis. I was running back and forth between there and home. It's hard to sustain that life-or-death kind of intensity over two and a half months, while also trying to keep things as normal as possible at home. I learned first hand what it means to be able to do things through Christ, who gave me strength. And I learned what a failure I could be when I tried to manage things without His help. He provided for me and my family throughout those days.<br />
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And now I feel like I need a sign hanging over our home, and maybe a traveling one to hang over my head wherever I go... "Recombobulation Area!" I'm trying to put things back together, one day at a time. I am sad, I miss my Dad, and I don't understand everything perfectly. I know I need to just sit with that a while, and while I do, I'm slowly trying to put the pieces back together. <br />
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Still learning about doing things through Christ, rather than relying on my own flimsy tool box. But here's what I know. God has a plan. That sounds like a nice platitude, but it is so much more. He <i>does</i> have a plan, and He told us what it is; He wants to draw everyone to Him. He wants all to come to know Him. Here's how Paul said it in one of my favorite verses (in the Message translation here) "<i>Starting from scratch, he made the entire human race and made the earth hospitable, with plenty of time and space for living so we could seek after God, and not just grope around in the dark but actually find him. He doesn't play hide-and-seek with us. He's not remote; he's near.</i>" So He will use my Dad's death, and my coming apart and recombobulating to bring me and others closer to Him. Thank You, LORD, and help me to cooperate with Your plan.--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-80787663242406845852012-02-23T14:25:00.000-06:002012-02-23T14:25:18.452-06:00Those Who Wait Upon the LORD...Still thinking about transformation. Last time I wrote, I was struck by the "working" component of transformation. Today, it's the waiting component that's on my mind. My dad is still recovering from his heart surgery, and actually had a major setback; an infection attacked his whole body. During this time we are waiting. We're waiting to see how things are going to go, waiting for his body to heal, waiting to see what God's plan is, waiting to see the butterfly! Not so fast....<br />
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During the waiting, I find there's nothing I can do but pray. I'm not implying that prayer is less powerful or meaningful than other action steps might be, just saying that prayer is the <i>only</i> action step for me to take right now. So, I'm thinking about how I'm praying, and what the purpose of my prayer is. I remember a scene from the movie <i>Shadowlands</i>, about C.S. Lewis, where he discusses what prayer is all about with a friend. I don't have the words exactly, but the friend implies that if one prays hard enough, maybe it will move God. C.S. Lewis replies that the idea of prayer is not to move God, but to move <i>us</i>. I think he's onto something there. <br />
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I feel a little silly sometimes, listing off to God what my dad's needs are, or anyone else's for that matter. God knows. He knows better than I what everyone else really needs, because He can see so much more than I can. So then I think, "well Lord, I ask that Your will be done in this or that situation." But that seems silly too, because He doesn't need me to ask for His will. Truly, He doesn't <i>need</i> me to ask for anything. Like C.S. Lewis said, it's not for Him, it's for me, it's about molding me. I guess what I want to do, (and what I think maybe the whole purpose of prayer is) is to align MY will with His. So the action step of praying is to realign the posture of my heart, to get myself and my desires lined up with His.<br />
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Maybe this is what Paul was saying when he wrote Romans 12:2....<br />
"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Through the waiting, and being prayerful, He will transform me, and change my will to His. Oh, that I will be cooperative!--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-54098789650419766642012-02-03T08:10:00.004-06:002012-02-03T08:57:39.411-06:00Change is HardMy dad recently had open-heart surgery; he had 6 bypasses and an aortic valve replacement. Pretty major stuff, and there are so many amazing word pictures regarding the heart.... like, what it means to "open" your heart, and allow the "restoration" of your heart. His recovery has been slow and difficult for all of us around him. As he is now finally coming out of the grog of a 10-hour surgery and 18 different drugs dripping into his veins, he will begin the hard work of recovery, which will be slow and difficult for <span style="font-style:italic;">him</span>. <br /><br /> He is quite literally in the middle of a transformational process. Before his surgery, he was a man whose heart was failing. He was getting weaker, struggling to breathe. He was unable to complete simple tasks that previously, he'd done without thinking, like filling the car up with gas or going to get the mail at the end of the driveway. As he recovers, he will get stronger, and each day he'll do more than he'd been able to do the day before.<br /><br /> There's a huge spiritual component as well. Before, he was a man who found his identity in his own physical strength. He grew up on a farm in Iowa, a strapping fella, always proud of his brawn. Of course, this is not the full picture of his identity, but it was a big part of who he was. Now, he has found the place where there is no physical strength, he's at the end of himself. He will have to fully rely on Christ who strengthens him, inside and out. He's being transformed into a man who finds his identity not in what he can do, but in what Christ has done and is doing in him.<br /><br /> Transformation is exciting! It gets me all aflutter. And who doesn't love the picture of the caterpillar being transformed in a butterfly? But I was thinking this morning about what hard work it is. The hard work is the part we forget, or gloss over, but is so important. That caterpillar doesn't go into his cocoon and take a nice long nap until one day, Poof! Transformation is complete and now he's beautiful and flying free. There's all kinds of work going on in that cocoon. And, once he is a butterfly, it's a lot of work to get out of the cocoon. Growing wings is slow and strenuous. It is work he must do alone. If someone comes along and helps him out, it actually harms the butterfly.<br /><br /> As nice as it would be to skip the work of transformation, we can't. The transformation is real and lasting when we do the work. God actually does a lot of the work, and He created the design and plan for just what kind of a butterfly we'll be. But there's business that we have to attend to, as well. Dear LORD, help me pay attention to the work you've given me, and get it done, so I can fly--beautiful and free!--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-46865582507627532832011-09-13T08:51:00.005-05:002011-09-13T10:38:21.816-05:00Testing, Testing....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-vv3j38vyEVbUeqLuruVeRdSfdj3yQtzAgAdIrF0rlxiOM0YIW8ny5ySduUn1_M4nDqlIxP3pRXF-S8OcCsN9y7xy-4cTONAp-Q8jUlOPmeSf_mrFQA76Bs9LieVpabv29v7_2kTLHAZN/s1600/P1080981.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-vv3j38vyEVbUeqLuruVeRdSfdj3yQtzAgAdIrF0rlxiOM0YIW8ny5ySduUn1_M4nDqlIxP3pRXF-S8OcCsN9y7xy-4cTONAp-Q8jUlOPmeSf_mrFQA76Bs9LieVpabv29v7_2kTLHAZN/s320/P1080981.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5651868797846119474" /></a>Back to school! A fresh start, new notebooks and pens, some new clothes, shoes, and a change in the weather make this a favorite time of the year for me. Since my kids start back waaaay before Labor Day, we're well into it now, and they've all even had tests. Tests are and never were my favorite. As much as I loved school, it took me a long time--really until college--to learn how to be a good student, and how to study for tests.<br /><br />After a message at church a few weeks ago about Joseph (the one with the pretty coat) the idea of tests and testing has been on my mind. After he as appointed a big wig in Egypt and he saved Egypt from a famine, his brothers came to see him, not knowing he was him. Following so far? It says in Genesis (a great story, starting at chapter 37) that Joseph tested his brothers. And at church, our pastor suggested that Joseph's character can be seen as a God role, and the brothers would be us in the story. I thought, "hmmm. God tests us? Does it say He does that?" I've heard about Job, where God <span style="font-style:italic;">allowed</span> Satan to test him, but I never considered God being the tester.<br /><br />I did a search of the word "test" in the whole Bible. (Careful there, the search brought up any word with test in it, so there's some rules about testicles in Leviticus. Learning something everyday! blech.) God is indeed a tester. He tested Abraham, He tested the Israelites in the desert, He tested the men who wanted to go into battle with Gideon, He tested Hezekiah, to see what was really in his heart. That's all in the Old Testament, you say? True, but God is unchanging. <br /><br />In the New Testament, we can read that there will be a sorting or separating of wheat from chaff. That sounds like some testing will be involved. (Luke 3:17) How about this little passage from Paul: "Anyone who builds on that foundation may use a variety of materials—gold, silver, jewels, wood, hay, or straw. But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value. If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward. But if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer great loss. The builder will be saved, but like someone barely escaping through a wall of flames." (I Corinthians 3:12-15 NLT) And James tells us, "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." (James 1:2-4 NLT)<br /><br />When Jesus came to earth and lived as a human, He had a fully human experience, and was also tested. He spent 40 days in the desert and was tempted by Satan. (Luke 4: 1-13) Being late in the game at figuring out how to test well in school, I want to get these tests of my heart right. I believe Jesus showed us by example how to take and pass the tests. Every time Satan spoke to Jesus, His reply began, "The Scriptures say..."<br /><br />I must know the Word, I must remember the Word, I must say the Word, and repeat the promises that I know are true, because they're in the Word.--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-14730459972161320942011-05-12T09:43:00.000-05:002011-05-13T15:43:45.246-05:00The End of the World As We KNow It?I heard some discussion on the radio about folks predicting Jesus will be returning on some near specific date. Didn't hear the exact date, sorry to let you down, I wish there was a rewind button on my radio. Maybe in 2012, just like the movie that came out last year? This disturbs me. I remember in 1988, there were lots of Christians believing it would happen that fall. It disturbed me then, too. So much so that I quit going to my college classes, and spent all my time hanging out with friends, doing what I wanted to do, and not doing anything that I needed to do. There were some costly consequences for my poor decisions that fall, and still more than 20 years later, I examine how I let myself believe my own lies....<br /><br />I wonder how this kind of talk is impacting young people today. Is it changing their perspective? I just finished a book that took place during the Blitz in WW2, and people living in London during that time must have thought the end was in front of them (and indeed for millions of people, their world literally WAS shattered). In a time of war, survival is all that drives people. Taking classes, making a living, looking good, taking care of mere possessions, none of this matters. Some of the things that we think are important become so small. What does a young person today think is important while there is chatter in the background of life about 2012? (and I'm not talking about the Presidential election, yawn yawn.)<br /><br />Regardless of how we think it's all going to come to an end, how are followers of Christ are called to respond to the end approaching? I've studied Revelation, though not super recently, and I think the main point of the book is that there is an urgency to share the Good News. There is hope. We have a Savior. God is offering the hugest gift, that matters in times of war, and in times of blessing. Have we told everyone we know about the gift? Is that <span style="font-style:italic;">important</span> to us?--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-88104633251255759782011-04-19T08:28:00.004-05:002011-04-19T09:46:13.337-05:00All Things Equal?Our family has gotten to know a few kids over the last couple of years who come from very different homes than ours. They're growing up in such difficult circumstances. Missing Dads, stepdads in jail, Moms working the graveyard shift in factories, food stamps, months that start with lots of money and a kitchen full of food--ending with empty cupboards and no money. None for the $5 field trip, or for a pack of gum. I was watching kids make their way down to the bus stop this morning, and wondering how this happens, that in that big group, there can be such disparity. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeN7o5fUfbJ1JsDltImHgcfDP8hW0MDgHeQzf_2BSSNQ5wW3kQvBA_oM6-imQs5mOo0h6aPJ4_v7aUWDlfCVjCnqal8NMZDBKGlmf0RwT8Hd7_ILjLnjFkCRJdIUlL8G-m5AXxiH-Fw29a/s1600/P1010919.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 156px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeN7o5fUfbJ1JsDltImHgcfDP8hW0MDgHeQzf_2BSSNQ5wW3kQvBA_oM6-imQs5mOo0h6aPJ4_v7aUWDlfCVjCnqal8NMZDBKGlmf0RwT8Hd7_ILjLnjFkCRJdIUlL8G-m5AXxiH-Fw29a/s200/P1010919.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5597305502664846402" /></a>I recalled a heated conversation I had years ago in a college Sociology class about equal opportunity, and how that's one of the things that makes America great. The frustration comes when there may be equal opportunity, but there is not equal experience. Opportunities are there for these kids; they are getting educated, for example, but is it equal to what my kid standing at the same bus stop is getting? When my kid was a baby, I was reading to him, and singing the alphabet with him. I was doing all the things they recommended, feeding him well, sleeping him well, engaging with him. What about his friend? He grew up with drugs, and fighting, and I don't know what all.... So yes, he's getting a public education, but his starting point is so different.<br /><br />This is heartbreaking. Should I feel guilty about what we have? Maybe not, but I do, a little. Do others have less because of bad choices? Yes, probably, but whose choices? When did it start? Was there never an equal footing? So then I begin to wonder if this idea of "equal opportunity" is just another very Western concept, like "privacy," something we kind of think we have a right to, because of the culture we're in. I don't know. It got me asking what God thinks about equality? What does the Bible say about it?<br /><br />I did a very quick search of the word "equal" on Biblegateway.com (this is a great site, by the way) just to get an idea of how often and in what context the word shows up in the Bible. Here's what I found:<br />There's lots of instructions, "divide these things equally..."; there's God asking Job and Isaiah, "Is there any equal to Me?...."; there's the Pharisees upset that Jesus would claim to be equal to God. Finally, there's a parable that caught my attention, about workers all getting paid an equal amount for unequal workloads. And Jesus ties that parable up with a bow in Matthew 20:16, saying, "So the last will be first and the first will be last." Hmmm. It's not completely satisfying to me, watching the kid at the bus stop with a not-warm-enough jacket. I mean big, eternal picture, yes, it is satisfying. It's a relief to know that God has this kid, He sees, He knows. But today, in the cold wind, not as much. The cold is temporary, I know, but it's also very real. The pain is real.<br /><br />The last "equal" on the list is in 2 Corinthians 8, where Paul is writing to the folks in Corinth about taking up a collection for the Lord's people. He is encouraging them to see their commitment through, to give willingly to those who need. Paul says it this way:<br /><blockquote>Here is my advice: It would be good for you to finish what you started a year ago. Last year you were the first who wanted to give, and you were the first to begin doing it. Now you should finish what you started. Let the eagerness you showed in the beginning be matched now by your giving. Give in proportion to what you have. Whatever you give is acceptable if you give it eagerly. And give according to what you have, not what you don’t have. Of course, I don’t mean your giving should make life easy for others and hard for yourselves. I only mean that there should be some equality. Right now you have plenty and can help those who are in need. Later, they will have plenty and can share with you when you need it. In this way, things will be equal. As the Scriptures say,<br />“Those who gathered a lot had nothing left over,<br /> and those who gathered only a little had enough.” (2 Corinthians 8:10-15, NLT)</blockquote><br />The Scriptures that Paul is quoting are from Exodus, when God provided manna to the Israelites in the wilderness. Remember that story? No one was able to collect more than they needed, and no one was lacking. There, in the desert, there was real equality, because God provided it. But in the New Testament, and today, there are some with lots, and some with little. And God does provide today, through us. So I will feed these kids when they're here at my house, and I will try to help them know they are valued and loved. And this is where faith comes in, I have to trust that while I do the bit that I can, God is working in the mighty, big-picture, eternal way that I cannot.--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-19042862300836828992011-01-26T13:40:00.004-06:002011-01-26T14:36:12.348-06:00In Hot PursuitWhile out for breakfast with friends the other morning, we got to talking about the idea that people everywhere are searching for God. That's why we have so many different religions and beliefs out there; we were made to search for something bigger and greater than us, and while all paths do not necessarily lead to the One God, all paths are trying to find a god. I'm not an expert of world religions, as a matter of fact, I understand very little about other faiths.<br /><br />I get a little twitchy when it comes to discussions of other religions, partly because of my lack of knowledge. But also because while I want to be loving, I really can't embrace the whole you-do-it-your-way-and-I'll-do-it-my-way thing, since Jesus says He is the ONLY way. Either I believe that's true, or I don't. And if I believe that's true, by gum, I have an obligation to tell you so that you don't miss out. But in telling others, I can step indelicately, hurt feelings, and come off decidedly un-Jesuslike. <br /><br />The one thing I do know that makes Christianity different, is that while we're all searching and thinking that we're finding a god, only the LORD--the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob--desires to be in relationship with us. He actually <span style="font-style:italic;">pursues</span> us. I said as much that day at breakfast, and have been mulling that thought over ever since. Then this morning in my homework for a study I'm doing on the book of Jonah, I was reminded of three parables Jesus told to illustrate that while we're seeking, or even when we <span style="font-style:italic;">aren't</span> seeking Him, He loves us and wants us to be in relationship with Him. It's amazing!<br /><br />In one chapter of Luke, Jesus tells these three stories to a gathering of all kinds of people. Tax collectors, sinner-types, and religious leaders and scholars, so we know these stories are meant for all of us to hear. Check it out:<br /><blockquote>Luke 15<br />Parable of the Lost Sheep<br />Tax collectors and other notorious sinners often came to listen to Jesus teach. This made the Pharisees and teachers of religious law complain that he was associating with such sinful people—even eating with them!<br />So Jesus told them this story: “If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away!<br /><br />Parable of the Lost Coin<br /> “Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Won’t she light a lamp and sweep the entire house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she will call in her friends and neighbors and say, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost coin.’ In the same way, there is joy in the presence of God’s angels when even one sinner repents.”<br /><br />Parable of the Lost Son<br />To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: “A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons. “A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything.<br /><br />“When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’<br /><br />“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.’<br /><br />“But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.<br /><br />“Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, and he asked one of the servants what was going on. ‘Your brother is back,’ he was told, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf. We are celebrating because of his safe return.’<br /><br />“The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, but he replied, ‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’<br /><br />“His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’”</blockquote><br /><br />I'm grateful for the lesson this morning in my study, because it's a reminder that in following Christ, I do find God, THE God who has been searching for me, and throws a party every time one of the lost ones makes their way to Him.--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-42216373228186406332010-11-22T15:15:00.003-06:002010-11-22T18:46:59.177-06:00We'll Muddle Through, One Day at a TimeI am a one-event-at-a-time kind of gal. In our family, we have 3 birthdays that fall within 3 weeks or so of each other, and I can really only tackle each one as it comes. I guess it is possible for me to juggle the details of several events at once, but I don't feel good about any of them when I do it that way. I do best when all of my attention is focused on one special day at a time. We do a lot of traveling in the summer, and I can only deal with the logistics and planning of one trip at a time. Otherwise I screw things up, like purchase airplane tickets for the wrong dates. One thing at a time. That's just how I roll.<br /><br />It took me several years to figure that out about myself, and I think I've been apologizing for it ever since. But I don't think I'm going to be sorry for it anymore. This business (and that's all it is, commercial, money-making business) of Santa and Christmas bric-a-brac all over the stores before Halloween is ridiculous. <br /><br />There are houses in my neighborhood with their Christmas lights up already...<span style="font-style:italic;">lit up</span>! I mean, I can understand taking advantage of some of these 60 degree days to hang the lights, but for crying out loud, don't turn them <span style="font-style:italic;">on</span> yet! What's the big rush? I can also understand that some folks just aren't like me, and they feel best when they can get all their shopping done by...whenever. Or maybe they must do the shopping early because they have to ship items across the country. Okay. I guess. <br /><br />I can't think about Christmas until after Thanksgiving. I don't want it crowding in on Thanksgiving. And honestly, I end up dropping the ball somewhere along the way of I try to skip too far ahead. Jesus said, “So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today." (Matthew 6:34 NLT) He said that right after He explained that when we make His Kingdom our priority, He will provide for all of our needs. What does all this rushing around to get a great deal and being a slave to the "to do" list have to do with His Kingdom? I'm thinking not much. I'm thinking it's a trap designed to take our eyes off of our Savior.<br /><br />This year, we are hosting Thanksgiving, and I'm really excited. I love to open our doors, love to cook, love it all. And I am not going to spoil the Thanksgiving fun with the commercial Christmas hoo-hah. I'm not going to wish the day of gratitude away so that I can rush on to the next big deal. One holiday at a time, thank you very much! Ha! Get it? Thank you? Wishing you and yours a blessed Thanksgiving.--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-28658322047593660332010-11-15T15:46:00.005-06:002010-11-15T22:06:11.518-06:00Same Object, Different Lesson<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYuPj9Fkv1negDWrQoAOsQDdCd2AXr-AMAxViSongyR7YksUIv1Y6Yucv1F3F2n3R6arV2nad4bOLlL36kxI-N17om2c54Y5-h4UyqwCpBEU_mSB3WNTQC26p6bnhTgxesc1lpgcCYSOXQ/s1600/P1080669.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYuPj9Fkv1negDWrQoAOsQDdCd2AXr-AMAxViSongyR7YksUIv1Y6Yucv1F3F2n3R6arV2nad4bOLlL36kxI-N17om2c54Y5-h4UyqwCpBEU_mSB3WNTQC26p6bnhTgxesc1lpgcCYSOXQ/s200/P1080669.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539909404999191682" /></a>Our cats are spoiled rotten, and only eat big bits of food in their bowls. I've written about this <a href="http://juliedahlberg.blogspot.com/2008/01/our-cats-are-goofy.html">before</a>. I'd like to train them to eat till the dish is empty, but I can only hold out so long. They get in my way, bite my toes, follow me around the house meowing, and get so annoying, I finally give in and put some fresh food in the bowl. As I am typing right now, Greta is perched on the printer, looking down on me. I kinda feel like being a mom I do a lot of teaching and training in my life, so when it comes to the cats, I just don't have the energy.<br /><br />So here I am today with new pictures that tell the old story of the food situation becoming dire to Thora and Greta, even though the dishes look full to you and me.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHTmtve3nwWhM0XS67b7X7kOAnwFxp7tDW3wrfZnrexMTFAlGuoK5StdH1WzI7BdROlxyG8OCx3xIi0H7jq_JsPsw6IkhN-VPEr4s3BGYnP5r0QDHuW7Z6WWoEbf9dN366y9Imd_LGzkwJ/s1600/P1080674.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHTmtve3nwWhM0XS67b7X7kOAnwFxp7tDW3wrfZnrexMTFAlGuoK5StdH1WzI7BdROlxyG8OCx3xIi0H7jq_JsPsw6IkhN-VPEr4s3BGYnP5r0QDHuW7Z6WWoEbf9dN366y9Imd_LGzkwJ/s200/P1080674.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5539909400374608354" /></a> I tell them, "You know, there are starving cats in Africa who would be very glad to get the little bits that just aren't good enough for you!" A couple of years ago, I saw this as a picture of a lack of trust. The cats don't trust me to see their soon-to-be-needs, and I do the same thing with God. Worry before I need to, fail to trust Him completely.<br /><br />Today, I see something else. I see the cats with bowls of food and hungry bellies, but they don't want what is there for them. They want something else. And maybe it's not so much not trusting me, and more just plain old whining at me to make it different. And of course, I recognize myself in the dissatisfaction and complaining.<br /><br />I look at what is on my plate, and sometimes, I think I'd like something different, or I'd just like more put on my plate. I am hungry, I am asking God to use me, but I'd really like Him to use me in a particular way, according to <span style="font-style:italic;">my</span> vision. And I fuss and I wait around, but in an annoying fashion like two four-legged friends of mine. But fortunately, God has limitless energy to guide and direct me, to discipline me, and He doesn't give in.--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-37902111959698273372010-11-12T13:44:00.003-06:002010-11-12T14:30:54.886-06:00Hard EvidenceI just heard a brief interview of Sara Groves on the radio today; I have loved her music for several years now. She was on Midday Connection, which is a show on Moody Radio. It is official that I'm old, by the way, because I'm listening to Moody.... You too, can be old and listen by <a href="http://www.moodyradio.org/brd_programarchive.aspx?id=46491">clicking here</a> and selecting the November 12th program. Apparently Sara was or is doing a tour playing some of her older songs, and she said in this interview that all of her songs are rock-solid, hard evidence of her faith in God, of His love for her. <br /><br />This really struck me today. My reasons for blogging are: 1) to be disciplined about writing regularly, to use the gift He's given me and 2) to share how I've seen God's activity in my life and around me. I really want the writing to be about what He is doing. This last week I've been fighting with a cold and demanding calendar, trying to carve out a little time to write, and when I had the time, I couldn't think of what or how I wanted to say anything. I don't have any clever stories about how I saw God's activity on my couch with my box of Kleenex. I should, but I don't.<br /><br />Feeling better today, and the "I should be writing" chant has been going through my head. I heard Sara and feel like that was a nice little gift from God, to remind me that the evidence of what He's been doing is right here! There are 176 posts on this blog so far, and more to come! Each one is evidence of His work, because He is the One who gives me the words. Every time.--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-19988511243742530552010-11-05T16:57:00.004-05:002010-11-05T18:03:29.664-05:00Ups and DownsHere at our house, we are the reluctant caretakers of a gecko. His name is Spike.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUwDjqCTr_9hyO6-dOg0nKa8VzQV7f3ClcOMflJ-mfCEaElHbJx4f22OGuaa0HlTUReWxUihop6ciYP9G3euVuJDINq9Be7vScXX7folX_oXsgyEiSMcHBYKxlIWYN0F-mocQEqFNnAJQV/s1600/P1080667.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUwDjqCTr_9hyO6-dOg0nKa8VzQV7f3ClcOMflJ-mfCEaElHbJx4f22OGuaa0HlTUReWxUihop6ciYP9G3euVuJDINq9Be7vScXX7folX_oXsgyEiSMcHBYKxlIWYN0F-mocQEqFNnAJQV/s320/P1080667.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5536204360217681266" /></a>A friend discovered this poor gecko when she almost stepped on him (it?) in her garage. He clearly either broke free or was let go, because no geckos live round these parts on their own. So, she put him in a 5-gallon bucket and asked Luke if he'd like a new pet. She had an old fish tank and everything! Luke thought this gecko would surely not live long after such a harrowing journey, so he said sure, he'd take it. He was thinking that after the gecko departed, he'd be able to talk me into some other kind of icky lizard-y, reptile thing he really wants, since we would have already invested in a lovely reptile-y, lizard-friendly environment. But Spike lives on!<br /><br />Despite our neglect and complete lack of knowledge regarding his care, he has been with us for several months now. Every so often I remember he's here (he lives in the boys' room) and think, "Gee, maybe we should get some crickets," and several days later I get around to buying those crickets. He's got to be starving to death, but I guess these desert creatures can live on very little.<br /><br />Admittedly, I know next to nothing about geckos, but I've observed that when it's been a while since he's been fed, Spike has trouble catching those first couple of crickets. Is he going blind? I don't know, maybe. But it seems like once he's had a few, he's better at catching them. I have a theory; I think he needs the strength from the first bit of food to be able to catch more food. Or maybe he's out of the habit? Needs to relearn how to use those skills? <br /><br />I can be a bit like Spike. When digging into the Bible is neglected, it's that much harder for me to establish the habit of doing it. When I haven't been writing regularly, it is so hard to get into the groove. I have to look at the world differently, notice God's activity all around me, think of how to share it. And, once I do get going, I can keep it going, just like Spike. I'd rather live a more 3 meals-a-day, regular diet of Scripture and allowing-God-to-use-me-everyday kind of life. This letting myself get to a point of near starvation, then struggling to survive is just not ideal. But my selfishness and laziness pull me away from what is best. Ugh.<br /><br />And so, taking the step of obedience to day, and looking to take it again tomorrow and the next day....--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-50987774531874162762010-11-02T17:18:00.005-05:002010-11-02T17:48:02.682-05:00Election Day<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaUWWeINqK2YqXJ1NqK0PzBtgJQ6ACSu1IkyqxUi8sWAPn7GOZ1srI1CkqgXYY3apmf48XR-neAoncIOSNOJ19cvGHMQn1jFohl95V64sLDKyxwcfAFw5X4HbflMWAbSO23I2-LtqJI5HP/s1600/P1080632.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaUWWeINqK2YqXJ1NqK0PzBtgJQ6ACSu1IkyqxUi8sWAPn7GOZ1srI1CkqgXYY3apmf48XR-neAoncIOSNOJ19cvGHMQn1jFohl95V64sLDKyxwcfAFw5X4HbflMWAbSO23I2-LtqJI5HP/s400/P1080632.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5535083739306664386" /></a><br />Before I left the house to vote today, I was a bit discouraged, feeling like all I was really doing was going out to cancel out the vote of someone I disagree with. It felt like the whole thing is silly, that the idea of me getting to have a voice is kind of ridiculous; it's really just a bunch of us canceling each other's voices out. Not a glass-half-full point of view. But I went to vote anyway, if only so that I could answer my children in the affirmative when they will surely ask me tonight if I've taken advantage of my civic opportunity.<br /><br />Upon entering the polling place, I felt kind of like I do in the airport security line. This is not a place to make jokes, and here, in this place, at this time, you don't have the freedom to say anything that enters your mind. I filled in all my circles and turned in my ballot, and as I walked out to my car afterwards, I was overcome with a swoosh of emotion. (Isn't "swoosh" a word Nike invented? Bear with me. The writing muscles are a little rusty. ha! Metaphor mixer, am I!) Something about the seriousness of the election judges, the <span style="font-style:italic;">lack</span> of freedom of speech in a polling place just made the freedom to vote so powerful to me. I AM so proud to be able to vote. That sticker rocks! I am so blessed to have been born when I was, where I was. It just struck me anew, walking through that parking lot. <br /><br />When I think of being careful to notice the gifts God has given me, and to remember what he has done, how can I take this gigantic one for granted? I do, so easily... LORD, help me to be aware of You, and all You are doing.--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-75085240433811006392010-11-01T15:41:00.004-05:002010-11-01T16:15:04.001-05:00Whadya Get?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixW6beIZgloOdpObMlEWvc83iBIWXNqv4C-px61PhK8K4TFs5uGcZh6H4B4hnfLacpV5T7D2eQlTZIQRTomDz8F9D1QpqDLlHPAQRyrvlIBqr103Ha811BIF1EGsOaA7j-FXsWFXTR6AHP/s1600/P1080629.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixW6beIZgloOdpObMlEWvc83iBIWXNqv4C-px61PhK8K4TFs5uGcZh6H4B4hnfLacpV5T7D2eQlTZIQRTomDz8F9D1QpqDLlHPAQRyrvlIBqr103Ha811BIF1EGsOaA7j-FXsWFXTR6AHP/s320/P1080629.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5534691827831889266" /></a>As of this afternoon, our house has officially recovered from Halloween. We usually have a big group that trick-or-treats together every year in our neighborhood, and we have something warm to eat afterwards. Now the dishes are clean and put away, the candy wrappers and bits of candy and crushed leaves have been vacuumed. <br /><br />I think my favorite part of the whole deal is the candy sorting and swapping that takes place after trick-or-treating. The rustling of the wrappers, the kids thrilled with their haul; everyone's a winner, giving away what they don't like, and getting piles of what they do like. After everyone was gone last night, our three kids were down in the basement, still counting, sorting and sharing with each other. They even made a bucket full of candy for us, with a few of our favorites.<br /><br />There is something about a big pile of candy to call your own that brings out the best in us all, right? They were so happy, getting along so well. There they sat, surrounded by what they'd been given, running their fingers through the piles of loot, and the kindness and good will overflowed. <br /><br />Makes me think of 1 John 4:19, where it says "We love, because He first loved us." In those moments when I get a glimpse of what He's done for me, what He's given, what I have because of Him, when I take a minute to run my fingers through it... then the love overflows for others around me. I'm really trying to be aware of God's activity around me, to take note and remember it!--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-972289756642556745.post-81627398342412186062010-10-29T12:37:00.004-05:002010-10-29T13:50:20.055-05:00Back in the SaddleWriters write. That's what they say. I haven't written in forever. I've been reminded this week of the concept of a long obedience. It's the idea that obedience isn't always a one-shot deal. Many times, life as a follower of Christ requires obeying today, and again tomorrow, and the next day, and so on. It comes from a quote by Friedrich Nietzsche that goes something like this: "The essential thing "in heaven and earth" is...that there should be a long obedience in the same direction; there thereby results, and has always resulted in the long run, something which has made life worth living."<br /><br />Writing is a weird thing for me. It's a gift I've been given, I think, and so, I'm supposed to use it to build up and benefit the body of Christ. I haven't been using it, for lots of different reasons, but I think they all boil down to really not being obedient. I'm a gonna' get back on the horse. I'm going to try to obey in that "long obedience in a same direction" way... today, and again tomorrow, and so on. Except not actually tomorrow, ha! Monday through Friday, so there ya go. That's my explanation for why I'm back. And since I created this blog long ago to be a place where I share God's activity in and around me, I guess I'll get to it.<br /><br />Earlier this week, we had some serious weather. Wind, mostly. 70 mile-per-hour gusts. It was positively spooky to be outside; things that were supposed to be still were flying all around, trees down, construction barrels rolling this way and that. Luckily for Lily's teacher at school, this was the week they were studying weather in science. Lily made a beautiful chart where she tracked the wind speed and temperature. She thought it was so funny to see completely different things outside depending on whether you looked out the front window or the back window. In the front, the tree has not one single leaf left, and the branches don't look like they move much in the wind. In the back, wow, could you see the weather! The big maple, whose leaves haven't even changed color yet, looked like someone with crazy hair blowing all over.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe_nCyvkc0r8dX_UbYfhEuG4Rn8J_A3ZVzeZTe-bdojrrYLTpj7wo-zvVOmVbW7yKHr4RiJ5mt-BZOD5EHkjIz0N2rC3bUjrHfncNeEw5aOkJ68IJROGknlT6CMre5n7YiEQhIb3w-VDdp/s1600/P1080615.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe_nCyvkc0r8dX_UbYfhEuG4Rn8J_A3ZVzeZTe-bdojrrYLTpj7wo-zvVOmVbW7yKHr4RiJ5mt-BZOD5EHkjIz0N2rC3bUjrHfncNeEw5aOkJ68IJROGknlT6CMre5n7YiEQhIb3w-VDdp/s320/P1080615.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5533540934666123442" /></a><br />My, how appearances can deceive. The wind was windy everywhere, front and back. But it didn't look like that when you looked out the front window, because there wasn't much catching the wind. How many times, and in how many ways do I think I know what I'm seeing, forgetting that I have a limited perspective? Changing our perspective, where and how we look at things makes all the difference. We make decisions based on what we see, from our perspective. And God's perspective? Right, He can see everything, front and back.--juliehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00703094710632502406noreply@blogger.com2