I'm intrigued by the life of David, one who was so highly esteemed that Jerusalem was called "the city of David" and yet along with his great deeds are the recordings of some of his naughtiest moments. He was God's anointed one, appointed to the throne of Israel by God Himself, and still so completely human, prone to get caught up in pride just like every person you know. Kind of a relief to know that we don't have to live the perfect life for God to use us.

In 2 Samuel this morning, I noticed a recurring theme about the importance of seeking God--asking Him what to do, going to Him for wisdom. Twice in the 5th chapter, David asks God about attacking the Philistines, and both times, God answers him. Both times David attacks the Philistines when and how God instructs him, and the people of God see tremendous victories.

Then, in the next chapter, David wants to reclaim the Ark of God from some bad guys who had stolen it when Saul was losing his mind (and apparently, his kingdom and Ark). David moves ahead with his plan, thinking he's doing the right thing, and a good man ends up losing his life because he touches the Ark. They hit some bumpy ground, and Uzzah reaches out his hand to steady the Ark, and well, you've seen Raiders of the Lost Ark, right? No touching the Ark, baby! it's HOT!

David and his men abandon their original plan to bring the Ark to Jerusalem and instead leave it (I'm assuming) where they are, at some guy's house. A few months later, they go back again to get the Ark and move it the rest of the way to Jerusalem. What's interesting is that the second time around David says, "When we transport the Ark of God this time, no one except the Levites may carry it. the LORD has chosen them to carry the Ark of the LORD and to minister before Him forever." (1 Chronicles 15:2--emphasis mine--this story is told in 2 Samuel and 1 Chronicles) I am thinking that David asked God about what to do the second time, but maybe not the first. Maybe he thought he was doing an honorable thing, and seeking God in all of it didn't occur to him. And this second time, David is following some very specific instructions.

Hmmm. I never enjoying having to re-do things. Help me remember Lord, to ask you the first time!

This was not my idea...

but I like it, so I'm copying from a blog I like to read. Well, except I'm going to modify it a bit. She reposted the first line of the first post of each month last year. Beck writes beautifully, really poetic. My first lines are so boring, I won't make you look at them again. One of the dangers of conversational writing? I'll try to work on that in the future...a resolution!

So, in the spirit of yesterday's post, where I learned that remembering what the LORD has done for us is an essential piece of living a God-centered life, we'll look back over 2008. But I will re-post the LAST sentence of the LAST post of each month, because it took me a while to get to my point in these writings. My goal for this blog was to record God's activity in my life and let you, dear reader, "make of it what you will." So, we shall see if I stuck to it...

January
This is supposed to be fun, these childhood things, why can't I have fun with it?
...on Santa and the Tooth Fairy.

February
So with God's help, I'm gonna' be strong and courageous, baby!

March
I love the way he suggests here that surrendering our selves is a process, and he gives some practical, first steps to take.

April
Holding on to that junk is getting in the way of the affirmation of being God's child.

May
Well, it's good to verbalize your expectations, right?

June
Maybe it'll work for you, too.
...the plan to have the kids do "jobs" everyday this summer. It went pretty well. The plan, that is.

July
And yet, God has graciously given them to me year after year, and patiently waited for me to realize the blessing.

August
I need to be looking into that pot on the back burner and stir it up, tend to it a little bit before there's nothing there, for all of our sakes.

September
And he is truly a blessing.
...a post on Lars's birthday.

October
I can't think of any more words to add.... I mean, you know, he's too much!!
...a post on Luke's birthday. :)

November
It could be a chance for us to get to know God better, together.
...on the Sabbath

December
She is waiting and watching....
...the ONLY post for the month of December, on our cat Thora finding a perch in the Christmas tree.

Careful What You Ask For

Would it be alright if I just skip the excuses about why it's been such a long time since I posted and just get back to the writing? I think that's what I'll do. You can figure it out that I've been too busy, without routine or inspiration....


So, it's back into the Old Testament I went this morning. I would like to have a better understanding of the ways of God's chosen people, would like to know the little stories that occur in between all of the familiar ones. So I started in 1 Samuel, which begins at the end of the period of Judges.

The Israelites still want a king, they don't want to have God as their leader, or, I think, a priest/judge whom God has called as their leader. They want more than a king, I think. They want a Royal Line. They want to know who will be coming next. They want to be like other people. (1 Samuel 8:1-5) So Samuel is kind of the last judge. It grieves him that the people keep telling him to ask God for a king, and God finally tells Samuel not to take it personally, that this is not a rejection of Samuel, but of God Himself, and to go ahead and give them a king. Warn them of all it will mean, God says, and tell them how a king will treat them. And so God appoints Saul as the first King of Israel.

There's a swearing-in of sorts for Saul, and then Samuel makes his final address to the people of Israel, where he reminds them of all the great things the LORD had done for them and their ancestors. (1 Samuel 12) He tells them God is giving them what they've asked for, but that obeying His commands still needs to be their way of life. And just to kind of add an exclamation point to it, Samuel asks God to bring rains and thunder to show them how wrong they were to ask for a king. Well, that freaks them all out. They are afraid, and crying out for their lives.

Our messages at church yesterday (for both the adults and for Lars in the junior high service) were about living a God-centered life. About what we need to do to tap into the supernatural power of God, have access to it daily. And for Lars, it was about what it looks like to be a lukewarm Christian, and how displeasing that it to Christ. I want to be God-centered. All the time, everyday, all day. Until I get distracted by, well, it can be anything. And then I get discouraged.

I think God drew me to the following passage this morning, as an encouragement:

"Don’t be afraid,” Samuel reassured them. “You have certainly done wrong, but make sure now that you worship the Lord with all your heart, and don’t turn your back on him. Don’t go back to worshiping worthless idols that cannot help or rescue you—they are totally useless! The Lord will not abandon his people, because that would dishonor his great name. For it has pleased the Lord to make you his very own people.
“As for me, I will certainly not sin against the Lord by ending my prayers for you. And I will continue to teach you what is good and right. But be sure to fear the Lord and faithfully serve him. Think of all the wonderful things he has done for you. But if you continue to sin, you and your king will be swept away.”

So, yes, I will not always get it right. I will need to adjust my focus, and readjust it. I will ask for the wrong things. God says to keep on keeping on. Love Him and obey Him with everything I've got. It pleases Him to call us His children. And the real key to keeping on? Thinking of all the wonderful things He has done for us.

Anticipation

I love the Advent season. My dictionary defines it as "the coming of something extremely important." The kids feel it. They're anticipating giving and receiving gifts, and we remember the coming of the greatest gift of all, our Savior. Our naughty little kitty Thora gets it, too. She is waiting and watching....

Mini Sermon, sorry, sometimes I can't help myself...

So while I have spiritual disciplines on my mind, (like observing the Sabbath, among other practices) I find myself mulling over the concept of being a disciple. Same root word, which according to the Webster's Revised Dictionary, means:

"Dis*ci"ple\, n. [OE. disciple, deciple, OF. disciple, fr. L. discipulus, fr. discere to learn.] One who receives instruction from another; a scholar; a learner; especially, a follower who has learned to believe in the truth of the doctrine of his teacher; an adherent in doctrine; as, the disciples of Plato; the disciples of our Savior."

What is the motivation to learn, follow, and believe the Truth of Jesus? It begins with my faith, believing that I cannot measure up to the perfection required to hang out with God. I'm not good enough, I fall short of the mark (that's a nicely worded way of saying, "I sin."). So I need a Savior. I need Christ to make it right for me before God. I believe that. That's the crux of my faith.

The next step then, is to follow Him, in all His ways. To follow is a response to realizing what He's done for me. It's a jaw-dropping, head-buried-in-the-hands, face on the floor, mind-blowing reaction to what He did for me, even though I did not deserve it. Except that I can forget about it. Like the second the phone rings, or one of my kids asks me for something. So I engage in these disciplines--these actions of following and learning--to help me get realigned, to keep my perspective on Him and His Kingdom.

And here's what is really amazing about the whole thing. The more closely I follow, the more I get to know Him. The more He opens my eyes to His activity. So, in addition to saving me, He also blesses me all the time with glimpses of Him and His ways! Do I do it because I don't want to get caught doing the wrong thing? No. Do I do it so that He won't slap me down when I make a mistake? No. Or maybe to make up for all the ways I've not measured up? No. The real motivation for me to be a follower of Christ is that I don't want to miss out on the blessings He has for me. The thrill of those glimpses keeps me coming back for more.

So, I'm not thinking about coming up with a way for our family to observe the Sabbath because I'm worried about following a rule, or because God is "shoulding" me to do it. (He isn't, for the record, anyway. Jesus and Paul both made it clear in the New Testament that we are not bound by the old law.) I'm thinking about it because it seems to me that spending some time as a family remembering that gift Jesus gave us would be a blessing. It could be a chance for us to get to know God better, together.

A Day Set Apart

I was thinking this past Sunday about the practice of making the Sabbath holy. I had the idea that I would try to make the remainder of the day a time of rest. (I started thinking about it on Sunday--there's the first clue that I wasn't going about it right, but better to enter into the thought process late than never, yes?) I've heard enough sermons or read enough articles to know that the Sabbath is about more than putting my feet up; it's to be a day of "resting in the knowledge of who God is...." That's a beautiful phrase, one you can spend a portion of your Sabbath mulling. And I guess that's what I really wanted to do on Sunday. I wanted the God part of the day to go beyond church, to spill into the whole day. And then the kids want to play with so-and-so, and Luke needs new shoes for indoor soccer, and so life gets in the way.

What does it really mean for our family to observe the Sabbath?

For some, just making a habit of going to church every week is a beginning. For others, it may mean more.

I've heard/read lots about it. I've heard how a husband and wife actually observe a 24-hour period on separate days, because it works better for them. He takes it from Sunday afternoon into Monday afternoon, she takes it on a different day. Something about that doesn't sit right for me. When do the kids do it? But don't I sound all high and mighty...after all, we don't do it at all. I mean, we sort of do. We keep Sundays low-key. On purpose. But I think lately, I'm hungering for something more meaningful.

Maybe it's because I've been studying and reading Old Testament scriptures lately, I'm not sure, but I've just been wanting to get everything God has for me, and the idea of Sabbath is where I landed. I got out my copy of Mudhouse Sabbath, by Lauren Winner. She grew up in a Jewish home, converted to Orthox Judaism and then later became a Christian--she tells that story in her book Girl Meets God--but this little book, well, here's what she says:

"This is a book about those things I miss. It is about Sabbaths and weddings and burial and prayers, ritual Jews and Christians both observe, but also rituals we observe quite differently. It is about paths to the God of Israel that both Jews and Christians travel. It is, to be blunt, about spiritual practices that Jews do better. It is, to be blunter, about Christian practices that would be enriched, that would be thicker and more vibrant, if we took a few lessons from Judaism. It is ultimately about places where Christians have some things to learn."

She is quick to point out that practicing these disciplines does not earn us our salvation, but they are part of the way we are followers of Christ--disciples. I wish I could just quote the whole first chapter, but I can't. I wish I could find something that would just list out exactly how I ought to practice observing the Sabbath, but it doesn't work that way. I think what I get most from rereading Lauren's thoughts on the Sabbath is that it is not a day for me, it is for God, a day given to and spent imitating God. And it requires some preparation on my part. And so, how will this actually work, putting this into practice in our family setting, in 2008? Not sure yet, but I'm giving it some thought.

Back in the Saddle

It has been a long time since I've posted. The more time goes by, the harder it is to sit down and write. I became a bit of a news junky for a while before the election, and it was all I had on my mind, but didn't want to post about it. Mostly because I didn't/don't want this blog to become a place to talk politics.

As right as I'm sure I must be in my convictions, (wink, wink) my relationships with folks who read this blog are more important to me than swaying someone's mind. It's a hard thing to "agree to disagree," so I'd rather not talk about it at all. It's not very brave of me, but that's the way it is.

So the election is over and I've weaned myself off of the news shows and pundits... and it's time to get back to writing regularly.

I'm just finishing up Beth Moore's study of the Patriarchs. I thought it would be a good study to do after reading some Old Testament books on my own this summer. I told the gals in the group I've been studying with, I've just loved doing this study, finding the connections in God's Word from Old to New Testaments, to life right here and now. I feel like God has been wooing me into His Word, giving me bits of His Truth, little treasures a day at a time... He has such a great Plan, and it's always good.

Our circumstances at any given moment may not feel like it, (think Abraham walking up to the top of the hill, preparing to sacrifice his son Isaac, or think of Jacob stealing and conniving to get the blessing from his father Isaac, or think Joseph, sitting in prison for more than two years when he was innocent) but God is at work all the time. He uses imperfect people. He loves us despite our unworthiness. Even when we waste a month watching the news....