Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh Boy!!!!

The big wedding is THIS weekend! Lily will be the flower girl, and Lars and Luke will be junior groomsmen (wearing TUXEDOS!). We fly south tomorrow, and we are all VERY excited. We've never left town and missed actual school days before, and this will be the first wedding for our kids to even attend, much less have a role. I'm looking forward to the wedding, of course, but also to a mini-vacation! And Michelle, I ran out today and purchased Leif Enger's new book and can hardly wait to crack it open once we get settled at the airport!! Maybe I'll start it on the car ride to the airport.....or, if I got everything crossed off the list tonight, I could just peek at it before bed....

I'm going to try to post while we're there, but I'm not all that savvy with any computer that isn't my own. I'm a little spoiled here with my pretty little iMac.

As I was making lists and realizing how little time is left yesterday, I found myself getting all "emo," as Lars would put it. I was paralyzed by my overwhelmed-ness, and got nothing almost done as a result. With all my thinking it to death, I think I've boiled it down to two things:

**1**It's been a long time since I've been involved in a wedding, like 15 years or so, back when we and most of our friends were getting married. And back then, I was so young, self-centered, and oblivious, it didn't occur to me--the big-ness of the promises, the beginning of a new family, the start of this fabulous adventure. I mean, I thought I did at the time, but I didn't. This time around, it's hitting me. And I'm so filled with hope or longing or something for our niece Joy and her soon-to-be husband. Marriage is a big deal, it's a great, wonderful, beautiful, big deal.

**2**I'm trying really hard not to forget anything important that would have an impact on the wedding. I don't want to leave a footprint, if you will. I just want our family to be a blessing to Joy et all, and want my children to look and act perfectly the entire time we're there...no problem. Well, it's good to verbalize your expectations, right?

Reflecting....

Hope you had a wonderful Memorial Day, and that somewhere in the smoke from the grill and the spray from the sprinkler you got a chance to reflect on what a privilege is it to live here and the great things so many people have done so we could enjoy our bbq's and friends. Time of confession, we forgot to put our flag out yesterday. Doh! Well, it's flying today.

Didn't get around to posting yesterday, either. Maybe I'll post twice today! I guess today is make-up day. Makes me wonder how I'll do with this blogging business over the summer. Having the kids home doesn't throw me off too much, but when Scott is home too, the regular groove goes out the window. And he is home a lot in the summer.

On the one hand, I consider establishing a routine, and being very disciplined in following it. On the other, I think, "it's summer!" Every year that we are still both home in the summer, I realize it could be our last one. Each summer is a gift. When and if a day comes that he has a different job that requires him to work summers, or I have a job that doesn't follow a school calendar, would I really look back and wish I/we had been more scheduled? More disciplined?

Nope.

But I'll figure out a way to be a good blogger and relish the summer at the same time.

Proud Mama

I try hard not to make myself or my kids seem like we're wonderful and picture-perfect on this here blog. I'm trying to go for authenticity. And now I'm gonna' be really authentic, just let it all out and tell you how wonderful I think my son is. No holds barred. Because he's such a blessing! I would just like to brag about Luke for a minute. He's our middle child, the one the books make me feel like I have the biggest potential of screwing up. I gotta' tell you, though, he's growing up to be such a nice kid. He just finished his soccer season up. We always love watching him play, he's very intense and competitive, puts all he's got into the game.

Last night, he performed in the 2nd and 3rd grade musical at school, where he auditioned for and won a role with a solo! And he did magnificently. He was very nervous, and just so cute I couldn't stand it. And I sat in my chair in the second row just beaming. Luke is also getting into some poetry writing at school, and here's his latest poem:

When I am by myself
I am a tiger sprinting
I am a soccer ball charging the goal
I am a pro skater going on tours
I am a owl howling at night
I am a son of a soccer player
I am a loving boy
I am a frog snatching a fly
I am a apple in the fruit bowl
I am a thankful boy to my friends
I am a lens in my glasses
I am a guitar rocking the world
I am a basketball flying to the net
I am a Ferrari racing in the wind
I am a blanket wrapping myself around you
I am Luke

Thanks for listening. I'll only do this sort of thing every once in a while. :)

A New Book...to me, anyway...

I started reading "Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith." It's an investigative look at a 1984 double murder committed by two brothers who believed they were ordered to kill by God...they grew up in a Mormon home, and somehow as Jon Krakauer will tell the story, there is a connection to the FLDS, the Fundamentalist Mormons who were raided in Texas a few weeks ago.

We've had this book in our home for about a year now. I picked it up at a used book sale, and Scott read/skimmed most of it. I decided to read it now because of the news tories about these people in Texas and because Oprah had a show about them recently. I remembered we had this book, so found it and started it the other night. It is really disturbing, how sick and twisted the thinking is in the FLDS. They have "compounds" or whole towns, basically, in Arizona, Utah, Texas, and Canada.

This business of plural marriages--young, young girls being "married" to men twice, or three times their age--it's commonplace for them. It's just the way they live, the life they've been born into. I woke up in the middle of the night with some tummy trouble, and I first thought through everything I had eaten during the day, and then thought of the book I was reading right before bed and thought maybe the stories of these people had literally made me sick to my stomach.

So, I'm early into the book, but here's a couple of things that made me go Wow! out loud as I was reading:

Polygamy is illegal in both Utah and Arizona. To avoid prosecution, typically men in Colorado City [one of the towns they pretty much own in AZ] will legally marry only the first of their wives; subsequent wives, although 'spiritually married' to their husband by Uncle Rulon [the leader...father of Warren Jeffs], thus remain single mothers in the eyes of the state. This has the added benefit of allowing the enormous families in town to qualify for welfare and other forms of public assistance. Despite the fact that Uncle Rulon and his followers regard the governments of Utah, Arizona, and the United States as Satanic forces out to destroy [them], their polygamous community receives more than $6 million a year in public funds....33% of the town's residents receive food stamps--compared to the state average of 4.7%. Currently the residents of Colorado City receive 8 dollars in government services for every dollar they pay in taxes; by comparison, residents in the rest of Mohave County, AZ, receive just over a dollar in services per tax dollar paid....Fundamentalists call defrauding the government 'bleeding the beast' and regard it as a virtuous act.

and:

For all their fecundity, Mormon Fundamentalists are strangely squeamish about sex. Boys and girls are forbidden to date, or even flirt, before marriage. Sex education consists of teaching children that the human body is a shameful vessel that should be veiled from the eyes of others at all times....In spite of--or more likely because of--the atmosphere of repression in Bountiful [the town in Canada], incest and other disturbing behaviors are rampant, although the abuse goes conspicuously unacknowledged....because the mayor, the police, and the judge in Colorado City are themselves polygamists who are absolutely obedient to the prophet, there is 'nowhere' for victims of abuse to turn.

I can't believe that what I'm reading about is something that is happening right now, today, in our country. I'm not sure what to do about it. Religious freedom is one thing, but these folks are involved in criminal activity.

You're Welcome Here

Our house was built long before the concept of a mud room came about. Or, maybe that's a very old idea, but at any rate, we don't have one. We and any who enter our house come in through the front door, and there's no place to hide the coats, jackets, shoes, hats, mittens, backpacks, keys, mail, or anything else you may have in hand.

Years ago, we purchased this little shoe cubby thing, and a handy shelf with hooks that hangs above it. It is the first thing to welcome you into our home. Because the hooks are too tall for young ones, we hung a row of pegs over on the other side of the entry, for the kids to hang their coats on. I have tried to provide a place for the things, and a system for my kids to follow when they walk in the door. Shoes in a cubby, hats, mittens (when they're in need) and backpacks in the basket or on a tall hook, depending on who you are and how tall you are. I have clearly verbalized my intentions--at least a thousand times. I would like us to welcome folks with a doorway they can actually walk through, not a pile of whatever everyone had on them or in their hands when they walked in.

You know that definition of insanity, "to repeat the same actions and yet expect a different result..." It's funny here in the land of momming. You just kind of keep doing things, or saying things, over and over again, not realizing how it's draining the life right out of you and your relationships. I don't want the bulk of my conversations with my kids to be about picking up their stuff, or cleaning up, or the condition of the house at all. I want us all to have the same attitude, that this house of ours is a nice place to be, and we all need to do our part to keep it that way. I don't want to have the kind of relationship with my family where I'm like the clean-house Police. I'd like to spend my time talking to my kids about things much more interesting than the house...like how their day went, their friends, their dreams and frustrations. And I have verbalized this expectation as well.

But it occurred to me last night that I remind two of my children in particular to pick up their junk DAILY, if not SEVERAL times a day. I just realized yesterday that I keep saying it, and expecting a different result. So, we're making a change round these parts!! Apparently, they don't mind hearing the same things come out of my mouth day after day. I need to give them a little incentive to notice the debris themselves and not be reminded by me. Ah Hah!

I announced the new plan this morning. I decided that the real cause of the problem is hurrying in and out of the door. Being in a big rush to play with someone outside, or do the next thing, whatever that may be. So starting today, if I have to remind you to hang/pick up your stuff, you will spend 10 minutes doing nothing on the couch. Luke was aghast. "TEN MINUTES!?!" "Doing NOTHING??!" You got it baby. He decided that yeah, it would only take about 5 seconds to put everything in its place properly, and that wouldn't be costly. But those 10 minutes could be tragic. Hee hee.

And what about me spending a few minutes quietly in meditation with God? "TEN MINUTES?!?"
Hmmm.
I love the way God teaches me through this job He's given me.

What's the Deal?

Things are changing. I guess they're always changing, and that's probably good. But it seems in my little world that no one is volunteering for anything these days. We get desperate email appeals from the PTA at school asking for volunteers from helping with specific events to taking an officer position. I was talking to a friend from a different school, and same story there. The ministries at church are recruiting, too, always in need of more folks to step up and serve.

Has it always been this way? Do people have less time now? Are these institutions that count so heavily on volunteers becoming irrelevant? The rule of 20% of the people doing 80% of the work seems to be changing to 10% of the people doing 95% of the work. The "inner circle" of people pitching in gets smaller and smaller, rather than growing.

Is this a problem, or just the beginning of a transition to a new season, where things get accomplished differently? It's discouraging to watch it happen, and yet, each of us is limited as to how much we can do. Are people in my generation selfish and entitled, and in need of a wake-up call--having a few things disappear, or organizations just dissolving--in order for them to realize it can't go on indefinitely without some help?

Julie in Wonderland....

Late post today, because I went on a field trip this morning with Lars' class.

I think that may be my last 6th grade field trip. Shheeesh! It was not pleasant. A 25-minute bus ride with 65 or so 11 and 12 year-olds. They can't bear to just sit quietly if they have nothing to say, so they call out everything they see. "Walmart!" "Let's go to Walmart!" "Shell Gas!" "Let's get some gas!" Such clever creatures. Have they never been out before?

The bus deposited us at a theatre where we saw an abbreviated version of the musical Alice in Wonderland, which I think is probably kind of a weird show anyway, but with 4 scenes cut out of it, one seriously could not follow the story.

The boy sitting two people away from me got sick in the middle of the performance, and that was a new experience for me. One I can cross off the list, done that, don't ever need to do that again. It was very stinky, as I'm sure you can imagine, and then the janitor came and poured some of that stuff on the yuk. The smell took me back in time, to third grade when JOnathan S. threw up in class. Awful. And the poor kid! And all these goofy, squirrely 6th graders making a big scene....

The show was followed by another long bus ride, where the poor ill boy couldn't quite make it off the bus in time, and was scrunched up, heaving, on the grass as 400 of his classmates walked by on their way into the building. Being respectful and sympathetic, of course.

It actually took me a few minutes of sitting in silence when I got home to decompress.

I love my 6th grader, but there definitely is a middle-school season. Where he is obnoxious, and loves to irritate other people. Either that, or he retreats into some other world, reading or watching a screen....This is Lars at our Mother's Day Brunch. Once his belly was full, he got back to his book. I know some would get mad about something like this. He did miss out on connecting with his extended family that afternoon. But I remember wanting to do nothing but read my book. (just yesterday! ha!)