I am a follower of Christ. That means I want to go where He leads, and I want to let Him have the steering wheel of my life.
Jesus said, "If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross daily, and follow me. If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for me, you will find true life. And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose or forfeit your own soul in the process?" (Luke 9:23-25)
Even though I made a decision to accept Christ as my Savior many years ago, I still have daily assignments. And it's that old self thing again. I wish my self was a thing I could see and touch. I wish I could see how heavy and unattractive it is, then it would be no problem for me to say "beat it, self!"
Jesus also said that there's a better way to do it, that we don't need to carry around our big ugly selves. "Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” (Matthew 11:29&30)
As icky as it is, I am asking God to show me my self, to open my eyes so that my self is obvious to me. Jesus says we need to put aside our selfish ambitions daily. It's amazing how effortlessly I can slide right back into it, just moments after I've thought I surrendered it. I can wake up in the morning and invite God into my day, and go downstairs and start to make lists of what I'm going to do with "my" time, get crabby about other people interfering with "my" thoughts, time, ideas, work.....Umm, oh yeah, um, God? Ooops. How would You have me use this time that is a gift from You? sigh.
This is what being part of the body is all about, I think. We help each other on this thing, and we parise God together for the victories. I'm glad you're a part of the body.