Testing, Testing....

Back to school! A fresh start, new notebooks and pens, some new clothes, shoes, and a change in the weather make this a favorite time of the year for me. Since my kids start back waaaay before Labor Day, we're well into it now, and they've all even had tests. Tests are and never were my favorite. As much as I loved school, it took me a long time--really until college--to learn how to be a good student, and how to study for tests.

After a message at church a few weeks ago about Joseph (the one with the pretty coat) the idea of tests and testing has been on my mind. After he as appointed a big wig in Egypt and he saved Egypt from a famine, his brothers came to see him, not knowing he was him. Following so far? It says in Genesis (a great story, starting at chapter 37) that Joseph tested his brothers. And at church, our pastor suggested that Joseph's character can be seen as a God role, and the brothers would be us in the story. I thought, "hmmm. God tests us? Does it say He does that?" I've heard about Job, where God allowed Satan to test him, but I never considered God being the tester.

I did a search of the word "test" in the whole Bible. (Careful there, the search brought up any word with test in it, so there's some rules about testicles in Leviticus. Learning something everyday! blech.) God is indeed a tester. He tested Abraham, He tested the Israelites in the desert, He tested the men who wanted to go into battle with Gideon, He tested Hezekiah, to see what was really in his heart. That's all in the Old Testament, you say? True, but God is unchanging.

In the New Testament, we can read that there will be a sorting or separating of wheat from chaff. That sounds like some testing will be involved. (Luke 3:17) How about this little passage from Paul: "Anyone who builds on that foundation may use a variety of materials—gold, silver, jewels, wood, hay, or straw. But on the judgment day, fire will reveal what kind of work each builder has done. The fire will show if a person’s work has any value. If the work survives, that builder will receive a reward. But if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer great loss. The builder will be saved, but like someone barely escaping through a wall of flames." (I Corinthians 3:12-15 NLT) And James tells us, "Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." (James 1:2-4 NLT)

When Jesus came to earth and lived as a human, He had a fully human experience, and was also tested. He spent 40 days in the desert and was tempted by Satan. (Luke 4: 1-13) Being late in the game at figuring out how to test well in school, I want to get these tests of my heart right. I believe Jesus showed us by example how to take and pass the tests. Every time Satan spoke to Jesus, His reply began, "The Scriptures say..."

I must know the Word, I must remember the Word, I must say the Word, and repeat the promises that I know are true, because they're in the Word.

Magic School Bus

How can it be that the bus stop stirs up so much in me? Am I a kook? That's a rhetorical question. There is something about the kids walking away, going somewhere else, away from me, to grow and learn... I have a love/hate thing going with it. I love that they're becoming their own people, going off into the world for just a little while. I hate that it's a reminder that someday they'll do it for real. They'll grow all the way up, or at least go all the way away. Their care will be beyond my jurisdiction.

I was thinking this morning about how my kids walk to the bus stop differently in the mornings:
I have one who wants me to be at the bus stop, or be watching it until the bus comes. Love that I'm still wanted, "needed," and you know, a little fresh air won't kill me in the morning. Hate that I'm often in the driveway or walking down the street in my jammies, that the weather is getting yukky, and hate that I suspect a little bit of a power/control thing, getting mom to do our bidding.

I have another one who kisses me good bye, professes love for me, and walks out the door, never looking back. Love the confidence, and the readiness to start the day. I like to think some of it comes from knowing there's love at home. Hate that there isn't even one tiny bit of needing me once the threshold has been crossed. I feel out of sight and out of mind.

And finally, I have one who bounds out the door, adjusting jacket and backpack, all a little discombobulated, gets to the end of the driveway, turns and goes about 10 paces or so down the street, and ALWAYS, like a reflex, looks back to see if I'm watching, and gives me a wave. Ok, I just love everything about this departure. It makes me smile every morning. But I still get that squishy feeling as the steps take my baby farther and farther away.

The Bible reminds us in Ecclesiastes that there is a time for love, and a time for hate. It doesn't mention this battle in my heart where I'm engaged in both at the same time. But that same passage in the third chapter is about seasons. I think my struggle is now and has often been to fully appreciate the season that I'm in right now. Not anxiously awaiting the next thing, and being completely IN the season I'm in. So maybe loving and hating simultaneously is how I do it. I don't know.

At the end of his whole "there's a time for this and a time for that" message, Solomon says, "What do people really get for all their hard work? I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God." (Ecclesiastes 3:9-13)NLT

Oh Lord, help me enjoy the gifts that these children are, and help me to remember the WHOLE SCOPE of Your work, here on our street, in our home, in our lives.

And, Action!

I was reminded again today of how very, very important it is to keep a record of the things God is doing in your life. Some call this "journaling." Some people can do that, and some really enjoy writing out their prayers, or dumping feelings all over a page. If that's not you, don't sweat it. Does the very mention of the j-word make you twitchy? Let me offer some encouragement to you.

For starters, call it something else! It can be just a pad of paper, or a folder full of scraps of paper, written in the car in a hurry. And take the pressure off of yourself to meaningfully write beautiful prose.... You can jot down a few words that will be a reminder to you. Bullet points are a beautiful thing; you don't have to write a whole story. It's for you, so no need to impress anyone, ya know? Think of facebook status updates, or tweets on twitter. Did God open the door today for you to have a conversation with someone? Did you see an answered prayer? One sentence will do.

Jesus warned about getting stuck spiritually in His parable about the farmer scattering seeds. When he explained the meaning of the parable to His disciples, He said, "The seeds that fell among the thorns represent those who hear the message, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares and riches and pleasures of this life. And so they never grow into maturity." (Luke 8:14 NLT) This life is full of legitimate cares. Bills have to be paid, kids have to be taken care of, work has to be done. In all those cares, we can rejoice in the moment of seeing God's activity, and then bounce right on to the next care. Remembering His love and activity can help keep those cares from crowding out His Good News.

There is such value in having a tangible record of God's activity that you can hold in your hands, look back at and remember, and see what He did. When you're keeping track, you'll be amazed at how His work in you starts to stack up! And what a blessing, during times of doubt and questioning, to be able to look back and see proof, to read in your own handwriting what He did in your life. He was active in the past and He is active today.

Family Adventure!

We call it a "Family Adventure" when we're off to try something we haven't done before, or when the plans aren't completely solid and we'll be winging it. It's sort of a signal to the kids that we don't have all the answers, and we'll all find out as we go. Yesterday, we were racing to get home from my parents house (an almost 4 hour drive) so the boys would be home in time for their fantasy football draft (or some such thing).

Scott and I have noticed over the last couple of months that our gas gauge (an old-fashioned needle kind) is acting a little quirky in its old age... you know where this is going, right? I was driving along with the cruise set at about 74mph, and the gas thingy said we had more than half a tank, which I knew wasn't right, since we'd been driving 2 hours and had a half tank when we pulled out of my parents' driveway. We were about 5 miles away from the oasis, and had decided we'd better stop and fill up, since how much gas we had was a bit of a mystery. (and mama had to go potty) Yeah. Well. I've never run out of gas before, until yesterday.

The cruise was still on, but the spedometer started creeping down. I turned off the cruise, stepped on the gas pedal, and it kept going down!! THEN, the low fuel light goes on and the needle is below the E. Um, yes. Thank you very much Mr. Indicator Light. I turned on the hazards, made my way over to the shoulder, and Scott and I are frantically searching our brains for everything we've ever learned about what to do when you run out of gas. Turn off the air, radio, and dvd player. Jiggle the steering wheel to move those last few drops of gas around in the tank, just let her roll down the road as far as she'll go...

I coasted down the shoulder with the hazards blinking, until Scott saw a house near the highway, on the other side of the tall grasses and barbed-wire fence. "Stop here! Maybe I can get some help at this house." So Scott jumps out to go look for help, and I turn around and start praying with the kids. "OK, well, you know what this is? It's a Family Adventure!" The people in the house were actually in their driveway, getting ready to leave, and Scott waved and yelled, and they noticed him (Yay!) but alas, they did not think they had any gas. A few minutes pass by, Scott waiting by the fence, them looking around to see what they can find, me and the kids praying and waiting...

They found a little gas can with a couple of inches of gas in it, handed it over the fence, and we all hoped and prayed it would be enough. The VERY helpful Good Samaritan guy on the other side of the fence thought if we could get it started, we'd be able to make it the 3 miles to the oasis. Scott poured every drop out of that baby into our tank, ran back with the empty can to our rescuers, ran back to the car, and after 3 attempts, the fourth time the engine turned over. Insert HUGE deep breath here. We made our way to the gas station, still praying and thanking God for the help, had to wait in line for an open pump !!! and finally filled up our trusty blue steed.

And now for the reason why I would tell you this story: It's the reason I started this blog in the first place, to bear witness to the ways God is active in our lives. We saw God provide for us in a million ways yesterday! WHERE we ran out of gas was a gift; WHEN we ran out was a gift--a few minutes later and those folks would not have been home; even the fact that Scott was wearing the brightest golf shirt he owns yesterday is a gift--the friendly people saw him at the fence, and the trucks whizzing by while he was pouring the gas saw him from far away. The whole ordeal really only cost us about 15 minutes. That's incredible. And that's what God does, He does things we can't wrap our minds around. He is miraculous! When we're part of His family, the Adventures are the greatest.

Woot! Woot! Chugga' Chugga'

Another bunch of loose threads in my head that maybe tie together somehow... Wanna' go for a ride on my train of thought? Scott and I went to see Slumdog Millionaire this weekend, happened to see the movie The Kingdom also, and heard a clip of Rush Limbaugh speaking at some conservative shindig somewhere, and I'm reading about David in 2 Samuel.

Slumdog tells the story of a boy growing up in the slums of India, and The Kingdom gives a glimpse of life in Saudi Arabia. I was struck by the darkness in these cultures...or more so by how the darkness is just out there, where everyone can see it. The millions of people living in the slums of India are not hidden, there's miles and miles of "homes" with a piece of blue tarp for a roof, there's filth and greed, and cheating, it's every man for himself, etc. And the people who live in Saudi Arabia with men walking the streets armed to the teeth, boys raised to hate people who don't pray to the same god... The awfulness is out in the open. We don't see that stuff here in the US. If it's here, you have to look for it. The images in these movies shock, and stick with you.

I just heard a snippet of Limbaugh while flipping channels. He was saying that our country, as young as it is, is so much better--wealthier, freer, healthier--than all these others, and he asked, "why is that? We all have the same human make-up, we aren't more evolved than any one else." (or he said something like that) I didn't see anymore, so I don't know Rush's answer to his questions, and have no doubt that he thinks he knows the answer. I saw this clip as I was digesting the contrast of life growing up for these kids in India and my own kids here in white bread suburbia. Why is it like this?

Reading through the stories of David's life, I see how God loved him and protected him, but also taught him and let him make mistakes and experience the consequences. Ever since Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, there has been darkness in the world. Sometimes it covers miles and miles, or it's right in your face, baring its ugly teeth. Other times it's covered up, or dressed up and disguised. But there's darkness everywhere. But God's love and protection are everywhere, too. We only have to accept it. Here's what David said about how the darkness impacts God...

I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave,[a] you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night—
but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are the same to you.

Psalm 139:7-12

It doesn't impact God! He sees through it all. I don't understand why things are the way they are. I can't find the answer (maybe if I'd listened to Rush a bit longer, it'd be crystal clear, ha!) but maybe it's one of those questions that needn't be answered now. Maybe it's the love and protection we need to embrace for the here and now.

I'm intrigued by the life of David, one who was so highly esteemed that Jerusalem was called "the city of David" and yet along with his great deeds are the recordings of some of his naughtiest moments. He was God's anointed one, appointed to the throne of Israel by God Himself, and still so completely human, prone to get caught up in pride just like every person you know. Kind of a relief to know that we don't have to live the perfect life for God to use us.

In 2 Samuel this morning, I noticed a recurring theme about the importance of seeking God--asking Him what to do, going to Him for wisdom. Twice in the 5th chapter, David asks God about attacking the Philistines, and both times, God answers him. Both times David attacks the Philistines when and how God instructs him, and the people of God see tremendous victories.

Then, in the next chapter, David wants to reclaim the Ark of God from some bad guys who had stolen it when Saul was losing his mind (and apparently, his kingdom and Ark). David moves ahead with his plan, thinking he's doing the right thing, and a good man ends up losing his life because he touches the Ark. They hit some bumpy ground, and Uzzah reaches out his hand to steady the Ark, and well, you've seen Raiders of the Lost Ark, right? No touching the Ark, baby! it's HOT!

David and his men abandon their original plan to bring the Ark to Jerusalem and instead leave it (I'm assuming) where they are, at some guy's house. A few months later, they go back again to get the Ark and move it the rest of the way to Jerusalem. What's interesting is that the second time around David says, "When we transport the Ark of God this time, no one except the Levites may carry it. the LORD has chosen them to carry the Ark of the LORD and to minister before Him forever." (1 Chronicles 15:2--emphasis mine--this story is told in 2 Samuel and 1 Chronicles) I am thinking that David asked God about what to do the second time, but maybe not the first. Maybe he thought he was doing an honorable thing, and seeking God in all of it didn't occur to him. And this second time, David is following some very specific instructions.

Hmmm. I never enjoying having to re-do things. Help me remember Lord, to ask you the first time!

Careful What You Ask For

Would it be alright if I just skip the excuses about why it's been such a long time since I posted and just get back to the writing? I think that's what I'll do. You can figure it out that I've been too busy, without routine or inspiration....


So, it's back into the Old Testament I went this morning. I would like to have a better understanding of the ways of God's chosen people, would like to know the little stories that occur in between all of the familiar ones. So I started in 1 Samuel, which begins at the end of the period of Judges.

The Israelites still want a king, they don't want to have God as their leader, or, I think, a priest/judge whom God has called as their leader. They want more than a king, I think. They want a Royal Line. They want to know who will be coming next. They want to be like other people. (1 Samuel 8:1-5) So Samuel is kind of the last judge. It grieves him that the people keep telling him to ask God for a king, and God finally tells Samuel not to take it personally, that this is not a rejection of Samuel, but of God Himself, and to go ahead and give them a king. Warn them of all it will mean, God says, and tell them how a king will treat them. And so God appoints Saul as the first King of Israel.

There's a swearing-in of sorts for Saul, and then Samuel makes his final address to the people of Israel, where he reminds them of all the great things the LORD had done for them and their ancestors. (1 Samuel 12) He tells them God is giving them what they've asked for, but that obeying His commands still needs to be their way of life. And just to kind of add an exclamation point to it, Samuel asks God to bring rains and thunder to show them how wrong they were to ask for a king. Well, that freaks them all out. They are afraid, and crying out for their lives.

Our messages at church yesterday (for both the adults and for Lars in the junior high service) were about living a God-centered life. About what we need to do to tap into the supernatural power of God, have access to it daily. And for Lars, it was about what it looks like to be a lukewarm Christian, and how displeasing that it to Christ. I want to be God-centered. All the time, everyday, all day. Until I get distracted by, well, it can be anything. And then I get discouraged.

I think God drew me to the following passage this morning, as an encouragement:

"Don’t be afraid,” Samuel reassured them. “You have certainly done wrong, but make sure now that you worship the Lord with all your heart, and don’t turn your back on him. Don’t go back to worshiping worthless idols that cannot help or rescue you—they are totally useless! The Lord will not abandon his people, because that would dishonor his great name. For it has pleased the Lord to make you his very own people.
“As for me, I will certainly not sin against the Lord by ending my prayers for you. And I will continue to teach you what is good and right. But be sure to fear the Lord and faithfully serve him. Think of all the wonderful things he has done for you. But if you continue to sin, you and your king will be swept away.”

So, yes, I will not always get it right. I will need to adjust my focus, and readjust it. I will ask for the wrong things. God says to keep on keeping on. Love Him and obey Him with everything I've got. It pleases Him to call us His children. And the real key to keeping on? Thinking of all the wonderful things He has done for us.

Mini Sermon, sorry, sometimes I can't help myself...

So while I have spiritual disciplines on my mind, (like observing the Sabbath, among other practices) I find myself mulling over the concept of being a disciple. Same root word, which according to the Webster's Revised Dictionary, means:

"Dis*ci"ple\, n. [OE. disciple, deciple, OF. disciple, fr. L. discipulus, fr. discere to learn.] One who receives instruction from another; a scholar; a learner; especially, a follower who has learned to believe in the truth of the doctrine of his teacher; an adherent in doctrine; as, the disciples of Plato; the disciples of our Savior."

What is the motivation to learn, follow, and believe the Truth of Jesus? It begins with my faith, believing that I cannot measure up to the perfection required to hang out with God. I'm not good enough, I fall short of the mark (that's a nicely worded way of saying, "I sin."). So I need a Savior. I need Christ to make it right for me before God. I believe that. That's the crux of my faith.

The next step then, is to follow Him, in all His ways. To follow is a response to realizing what He's done for me. It's a jaw-dropping, head-buried-in-the-hands, face on the floor, mind-blowing reaction to what He did for me, even though I did not deserve it. Except that I can forget about it. Like the second the phone rings, or one of my kids asks me for something. So I engage in these disciplines--these actions of following and learning--to help me get realigned, to keep my perspective on Him and His Kingdom.

And here's what is really amazing about the whole thing. The more closely I follow, the more I get to know Him. The more He opens my eyes to His activity. So, in addition to saving me, He also blesses me all the time with glimpses of Him and His ways! Do I do it because I don't want to get caught doing the wrong thing? No. Do I do it so that He won't slap me down when I make a mistake? No. Or maybe to make up for all the ways I've not measured up? No. The real motivation for me to be a follower of Christ is that I don't want to miss out on the blessings He has for me. The thrill of those glimpses keeps me coming back for more.

So, I'm not thinking about coming up with a way for our family to observe the Sabbath because I'm worried about following a rule, or because God is "shoulding" me to do it. (He isn't, for the record, anyway. Jesus and Paul both made it clear in the New Testament that we are not bound by the old law.) I'm thinking about it because it seems to me that spending some time as a family remembering that gift Jesus gave us would be a blessing. It could be a chance for us to get to know God better, together.

A Day Set Apart

I was thinking this past Sunday about the practice of making the Sabbath holy. I had the idea that I would try to make the remainder of the day a time of rest. (I started thinking about it on Sunday--there's the first clue that I wasn't going about it right, but better to enter into the thought process late than never, yes?) I've heard enough sermons or read enough articles to know that the Sabbath is about more than putting my feet up; it's to be a day of "resting in the knowledge of who God is...." That's a beautiful phrase, one you can spend a portion of your Sabbath mulling. And I guess that's what I really wanted to do on Sunday. I wanted the God part of the day to go beyond church, to spill into the whole day. And then the kids want to play with so-and-so, and Luke needs new shoes for indoor soccer, and so life gets in the way.

What does it really mean for our family to observe the Sabbath?

For some, just making a habit of going to church every week is a beginning. For others, it may mean more.

I've heard/read lots about it. I've heard how a husband and wife actually observe a 24-hour period on separate days, because it works better for them. He takes it from Sunday afternoon into Monday afternoon, she takes it on a different day. Something about that doesn't sit right for me. When do the kids do it? But don't I sound all high and mighty...after all, we don't do it at all. I mean, we sort of do. We keep Sundays low-key. On purpose. But I think lately, I'm hungering for something more meaningful.

Maybe it's because I've been studying and reading Old Testament scriptures lately, I'm not sure, but I've just been wanting to get everything God has for me, and the idea of Sabbath is where I landed. I got out my copy of Mudhouse Sabbath, by Lauren Winner. She grew up in a Jewish home, converted to Orthox Judaism and then later became a Christian--she tells that story in her book Girl Meets God--but this little book, well, here's what she says:

"This is a book about those things I miss. It is about Sabbaths and weddings and burial and prayers, ritual Jews and Christians both observe, but also rituals we observe quite differently. It is about paths to the God of Israel that both Jews and Christians travel. It is, to be blunt, about spiritual practices that Jews do better. It is, to be blunter, about Christian practices that would be enriched, that would be thicker and more vibrant, if we took a few lessons from Judaism. It is ultimately about places where Christians have some things to learn."

She is quick to point out that practicing these disciplines does not earn us our salvation, but they are part of the way we are followers of Christ--disciples. I wish I could just quote the whole first chapter, but I can't. I wish I could find something that would just list out exactly how I ought to practice observing the Sabbath, but it doesn't work that way. I think what I get most from rereading Lauren's thoughts on the Sabbath is that it is not a day for me, it is for God, a day given to and spent imitating God. And it requires some preparation on my part. And so, how will this actually work, putting this into practice in our family setting, in 2008? Not sure yet, but I'm giving it some thought.

Back in the Saddle

It has been a long time since I've posted. The more time goes by, the harder it is to sit down and write. I became a bit of a news junky for a while before the election, and it was all I had on my mind, but didn't want to post about it. Mostly because I didn't/don't want this blog to become a place to talk politics.

As right as I'm sure I must be in my convictions, (wink, wink) my relationships with folks who read this blog are more important to me than swaying someone's mind. It's a hard thing to "agree to disagree," so I'd rather not talk about it at all. It's not very brave of me, but that's the way it is.

So the election is over and I've weaned myself off of the news shows and pundits... and it's time to get back to writing regularly.

I'm just finishing up Beth Moore's study of the Patriarchs. I thought it would be a good study to do after reading some Old Testament books on my own this summer. I told the gals in the group I've been studying with, I've just loved doing this study, finding the connections in God's Word from Old to New Testaments, to life right here and now. I feel like God has been wooing me into His Word, giving me bits of His Truth, little treasures a day at a time... He has such a great Plan, and it's always good.

Our circumstances at any given moment may not feel like it, (think Abraham walking up to the top of the hill, preparing to sacrifice his son Isaac, or think of Jacob stealing and conniving to get the blessing from his father Isaac, or think Joseph, sitting in prison for more than two years when he was innocent) but God is at work all the time. He uses imperfect people. He loves us despite our unworthiness. Even when we waste a month watching the news....

Mysterious Squash Plant Update

Whaddya know? We might actually be producing some fruit here in our pot! Remember my questions about the rogue plant growing in my pot in the back yard? Karen helpfully offered advice on how to keep this thing healthy and happy, and I took some of it. (Actually, all I did was move it to a spot with more sun and dirt, and buried some of the vine. Her other suggestions required more effort than I was willing to make. I meant to, but just never got around to it....)

So, despite my neglect, and the fact that this thing was probably planted by a squirrel, or maybe unintentionally by me in my compost, it is still working hard to grow something significant. There are two little squashes or whatever they are. They're each about the size of my thumb.

Amazing! And what does this say about the ways we might be fruitful--spiritually speaking--in our lives? I guess it doesn't always have to happen the way we map it out, and we may not always be the one who plants the seed, 'eh?

Plant Quiz

Can you identify this plant? Tell me what it is! And advise me on how to care for it. These big flowers open up in the morning, and then a day or two later they fall off.

I have no green in my thumb; I don't think I have the attention span for it. But I go to the annual plant sale at the kids' old school and buy some tomato plants, basil, and cilantro, and I usually buy some flowers to fill one big pot for the backyard. The flowers in that it this year were some cosmos, and two other flowers that have since been choked out by this rogue squash-ish plant. It wants to climb, so much so that it was leaning over and grabbing the basil in a pot 5 feet away! I unwrapped it from the basil and gave it a chair to climb on.

And maybe this little nubby thing will be some fruit someday? Or maybe it's just going to be a new flower....

Please don't tell me it's just a weed that I've let run roughshod over my flowers. That would be a bummer, and ruin the fun I've had watching this thing with a life all it's own. I'm hoping it will produce some kind of fruit someday. It does make me think of the verse in Galatians where Paul says you will reap what you sow. Where did this plant come from? Did I sow it? Clearly, I did, the plant is growing there in my pot.

Of course Paul is talking about motivations, behaviors and attitudes. Here's the passage:

Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. --Galatians 6: 7-9 NLT

So do you think we can unknowingly sow selfish-ness, or pride? Can we arrange a pot with a bunch of nice pretty Spirit-pleasing obedience and kindness, for example, and find, a few weeks later, that a big old, choking something else is growing there? Or, can we unknowingly sow goodness and find it unexpectedly flowering and producing fruit? Hmmm.

There's Always Another Way to Look at Things

This is Thora, one of our cats. She is watching the world outside, safe and sound on her couch, peering out from behind the curtains. I took this picture because it struck me funny, her little backside the only thing showing to us in the house, not really her finest feature. And how, if you were walking down the street, you would see something like this....

and possibly think this is a cute sight; she might even bring a smile to your face. (it all depends on how you feel about cats) Just a reminder that our perspective is everything.

We're studying James in our small group, and this made me think of when James says to consider it all joy when we encounter trials. (Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.) I think he's advising us to look at our situation from a different perspective. Be aware that there's a bigger picture, or another view. Maybe one that could even bring a smile to your face.

Smooth Transition

Tomorrow is the last day of school. Yes, we are STILL in school, making up for all those snow days....

I sent the kids off with gifts for all their teachers, and notes thanking them for helping to make our transition into the big regular public school district from a tiny charter school a smooth and successful one. And as I watch this school year come to an end, I can say that for each of the kids it has been a good transition. We survived and thrived through a big change.

I heard a woman on the radio the other day, no idea who she was, or what the name of her book is, I only caught about 3 minutes. But she was talking about discerning God's will, and taking the journey He leads you on, and how we question if we're doing the right thing...how it can look great when all the doors open and things are going great, but the second we hit a rough spot we begin doubting. She spoke about the Israelites leaving Egypt. It was clear God was leading them out; He parted the Red Sea, He literally showed them the way: "The Lord went ahead of them. He guided them during the day with a pillar of cloud, and he provided light at night with a pillar of fire. This allowed them to travel by day or by night." Exodus 13:21 And He fed them manna, provided them with their daily bread. And even though the Israelites could SEE with their eyes where He wanted them to go, they didn't always feel certain.

The decisions about our children and their education have loomed large since we first had to pick a pre-school for Lars. As the years have moved on, the questions have changed, but they're still kind of the same flavor. And in my moments of doubt, I still wonder how my decisions might have marked him. Was I listening well enough? Did I do what God was leading or did I follow my gut? Did I want what I wanted so much that God couldn't get a word in?

It must be a natural human reflex to question and doubt first, and then realize late in the game, after worrying and fretting, that we can rest in His provision. We do this all the time. Not just about education. I have a friend who is starting a new business...lots of risk, and lots of decisions, lots of questions. We do it when traveling through the murky waters of relationships, health, finances, careers, you name it. I don't think the questioning itself is so terrible, it's when we let that grow into doubting that God is still leading, still providing.

As God told the Israelites before they entered into the Promised Land: "So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 And then many years later, the author of Hebrews wrote in references to this promise, "Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Hebrews 13: 7&8 ROCK ON!

Looking back on the school year, even the summer before, when Scott and I made the decision to switch schools, we can see it's been good, it went well. But there were times of fear and doubt. Maybe those times were something I needed to remind me to rely on God, and not get ahead of Him. Who knows. I'll ask Him about it someday. Meanwhile, we just gotta' always rest in His leading, in His provision. So easy to say, when I'm looking back....

Deep Thoughts this Stormy Morning

Yesterday I finally finished the Jon Krakauer book about the Mormon faith and some of the fundamentalist groups that have sprouted off of the main church. It was a well-written book, but the subject matter is truly disturbing. I couldn't wait to be done with it. Throughout the book, but especially at the end Krakauer throws in some questions about what faith really means, and how is one religion any different than another when they all, at some point, require that "leap" of faith? I say, bring on these tough questions. I want to know why I believe what I believe.

At the same time, I'm working on a study of the book of Colossians. I think Paul's letter could tackle some of Krakauer's queries. My faith is not in a religion with rules and restrictions about how to live or practice that faith. I don't have to do certain things to gain entry into heaven. My ticket to heaven is not jeopardized by my actions. Jesus died for me, (in my sinful, imperfectness) and I have accepted His saving gift of grace. My faith is in Christ.

As Paul wrote to the believers on Colossae about what he hoped his letters would do for their recipients, he said, I want them to be encouraged and knit together by strong ties of love. I want them to have complete confidence that they understand God’s mysterious plan, which is Christ Himself. In Him lie hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Colossians 2:2&3

In following Christ, it becomes less and less mysterious, and our knowledge increases. We know God more and more. And this is accessible to any and all who want it! Here's some more verses that get right to the heart of the difference between accepting that salvation and going the next step--what it means to be a follower of Christ:

And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to follow Him. Let your roots grow down into Him, and let your lives be built on Him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6&7

Paul explains why the following piece is important, why it's imperative to do more than just accept the gift. We need to continue following Him because Satan is working hard to confuse people. He's the Great Manipulator and King of Lies. He takes bits of the truth, and weaves lies, and selfish, human-driven ideas into it. He presents twisted versions of the truth that can sound good at first, if you aren't rooted in The Truth--Christ. That's been Satan's playbook throughout the ages. In the next verse, Paul says:

Don’t let anyone capture you with empty philosophies and high-sounding nonsense that come from human thinking and from the spiritual powers of this world, rather than from Christ. Colossians 2:8

I can't help but think of the Mormon church, and the wackos that have taken Mormonism to extremes, or even of some of the ideas Oprah has helped to disseminate, from The Secret or Eckhardt Tolle. These are all empty philosophies, that come from human thinking and are not of God, they are of this world. How do we know the difference? We have to be rooted in Christ and let our lives be built on Him; not a religion, not a church, or ideas, but in and on Christ.

You're Welcome Here

Our house was built long before the concept of a mud room came about. Or, maybe that's a very old idea, but at any rate, we don't have one. We and any who enter our house come in through the front door, and there's no place to hide the coats, jackets, shoes, hats, mittens, backpacks, keys, mail, or anything else you may have in hand.

Years ago, we purchased this little shoe cubby thing, and a handy shelf with hooks that hangs above it. It is the first thing to welcome you into our home. Because the hooks are too tall for young ones, we hung a row of pegs over on the other side of the entry, for the kids to hang their coats on. I have tried to provide a place for the things, and a system for my kids to follow when they walk in the door. Shoes in a cubby, hats, mittens (when they're in need) and backpacks in the basket or on a tall hook, depending on who you are and how tall you are. I have clearly verbalized my intentions--at least a thousand times. I would like us to welcome folks with a doorway they can actually walk through, not a pile of whatever everyone had on them or in their hands when they walked in.

You know that definition of insanity, "to repeat the same actions and yet expect a different result..." It's funny here in the land of momming. You just kind of keep doing things, or saying things, over and over again, not realizing how it's draining the life right out of you and your relationships. I don't want the bulk of my conversations with my kids to be about picking up their stuff, or cleaning up, or the condition of the house at all. I want us all to have the same attitude, that this house of ours is a nice place to be, and we all need to do our part to keep it that way. I don't want to have the kind of relationship with my family where I'm like the clean-house Police. I'd like to spend my time talking to my kids about things much more interesting than the house...like how their day went, their friends, their dreams and frustrations. And I have verbalized this expectation as well.

But it occurred to me last night that I remind two of my children in particular to pick up their junk DAILY, if not SEVERAL times a day. I just realized yesterday that I keep saying it, and expecting a different result. So, we're making a change round these parts!! Apparently, they don't mind hearing the same things come out of my mouth day after day. I need to give them a little incentive to notice the debris themselves and not be reminded by me. Ah Hah!

I announced the new plan this morning. I decided that the real cause of the problem is hurrying in and out of the door. Being in a big rush to play with someone outside, or do the next thing, whatever that may be. So starting today, if I have to remind you to hang/pick up your stuff, you will spend 10 minutes doing nothing on the couch. Luke was aghast. "TEN MINUTES!?!" "Doing NOTHING??!" You got it baby. He decided that yeah, it would only take about 5 seconds to put everything in its place properly, and that wouldn't be costly. But those 10 minutes could be tragic. Hee hee.

And what about me spending a few minutes quietly in meditation with God? "TEN MINUTES?!?"
Hmmm.
I love the way God teaches me through this job He's given me.

Mr. Golden Sun, Please Shine Down on Me

We have this pile of anenomes (?) growing right outside our front door. They're cute little white flowers with a yellow center, just what I would draw if you asked me to make a flower... They are just about to pop. A couple of them have opened up, but they're bent down. I'm waiting for the morning when they're all open and proud, and I keep looking out to see if it's happened yet. We had a rainy, cloudy, kind of cruddy weekend in the weather department. This morning, though it's still a little chilly, the sun is shining brightly. So I told these little flowers to look up! Let the sun shine on your face! I want to see them all pretty and white, but they're holding out. Not quite ready.


Except for this one....
Isn't it pretty? Tell your neighbors, little flower, how good it feels to bask in the warmth of the sun. I'm not a gardener, I know close to nothing about plants and their ways. But I just love this season of green things coming back up, and the pop of color from the flowers. As I watch with anticipation this spring, I can imagine God watching us from heaven, waiting for us to just look up! And tell everyone around us all about it. Can you picture it?

Look up into the heavens.
Who created all the stars?
He brings them out like an army, one after another,
calling each by its name.
Because of his great power and incomparable strength,
not a single one is missing.
O Jacob, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles?
O Israel, how can you say God ignores your rights?
Have you never heard?
Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:26-31

I Want to Know You

We made a family outing to a book-signing last week at a local bookstore. Lars has read all of the Fablehaven books (there are three so far), and was very excited to go meet the author, Brandon Mull. He actually was at the same bookstore in the fall, and we went then to get the first book signed, before Lars had really gotten into them. Brandon Mull is very patient, talks to every person in line, asks questions of the kids who are standing there awestruck, and answers any questions his young fans may have for him. The line was long! And he made it worth it to have waited all that time.

It was cool for Lars to have a second chance to meet this author, to have enthusiasm and be able to take advantage of the opportunity to converse with him. And the real thrill this second time around? Brandon Mull said to Lars, "I've met you before, Lars, haven't I?" Well, Lars just couldn't get over that. "He knew me, mom! That is the sign of a really good author." Mm-hmm. I snapped a pic, of course. My happy boy, with this favorite author.



Can you guess where I'm going to go with it? What a thrill it is to be sort-of known by someone big. We have a God who knows us! He knows our name! We aren't just somewhat familiar to him, He knows us. He longs to engage us, to make our time spent with Him worthwhile. And the beauty is we don't even have to stand in line. We don't have to read the Book first, we don't have to get ourselves in order before we can meet Him, we don't have to do it a certain way. How many chances do we get to converse with Him? The number goes to infinity and beyond, baby. That is, indeed, the sign of a really good author.

Here's the Church, Here's the Steeple....

IN our almost 17 years of marriage, Scott and I have lived in only two places, our first apartment for 18 months, and our first and only house that we live in now. In that same time, we've been members of four different churches. The number itself startles me....In my mind, we are not church-hoppers. But that seems like a lot of churches in a relatively short period of time.

At the beginning, we went to the church that Scott and his parents went to, a 400ish member church, with 200ish people attending each week. We started serving by teaching a 5th grade Sunday School class, helped with the high school youth group, served on boards, then taught the high school Sunday School class, and even taugh one series for adult Sunday School. We were there for seven years. After we had Luke, and Lars was getting to be pre-school age, we felt we needed to find a church in our community where we live. So, we made our first switch, moving to a church 5 minutes from home with great teaching that was part of a similar denomination.

Shortly after that, the denomination that Scott grew up in (the Evangelical Covenant Church) started a church plant in our town. We met with the folks in the core group, prayed long and hard, and felt called to be a part of that fledgling group. So, we made another switch.

The core group of that church plant never really grew big enough to sustain itself. After more than a year or so, we all had to let go of the dream that we felt sure God had given us. The outcome we had all pictured in taking that step of obedience wasn't what God had planned. Looking back, I can see without question that He was at work there and that we experienced tremendous growth. At the time, we were full of questions, and he gently guided each of us to different churches as we all had to make a switch.

Which led us to where we are now. Our fourth church. Our church is a "mega", "multi-site", "big box", whatever label you want to give it...church. It's not where we expected to be. It's wonderful in many ways. It's different from what we're used to in many ways.

And I wonder today, after reading a few blogs about church and getting all thinky about it, what is church really all about? I can get all heady and theological (are we emerging, missional, the value of the liturgy and so on...), or mushy and emotional (do we like it here, how does this or that make me feel....). What does it really boil down to? What did God have in mind for the church?

I'll tell you what I think, or at least the beginning of what I think. Jesus said to "go into the world and make disciples." I think the church is a place where we gather with others, all the different parts of the body, to get equipped to go out there and make disciples. It's a place where we get opportunities to make disciples right there in that building, and where we get encouragement to go out and do it. I'm not sure if God cares about the other stuff--the labels, the sizes, the comfort. I'd like to hear what you think, too.

One Size Does Not Fit All

The kids have an early release day today. This might make us feel the challenge of keeping the tv off (see yesterday's post), but I think we're up to it. We actually have to go buy Lily some new soccer cleats. They fit her for her first practice, but one week later at her next practice, they were too small. Amazing! In one week! I didn't get around to replacing them before her game on Saturday, and her piggies were very sad little piggies indeed. She has practice again tonight, so we'll take care of the problem this afternoon.

We used to have a pair of size 13 cleats in the closet, but they lived through four soccer seasons and two boys, and I guess that's all they had in them. They fought a good fight before they died.

Another parenting/faith tie-in: Wouldn't it be great to see growth in my faith like the growth in Lily's feet? I want to be able to look backwards, and see that some self-absorbed or not God-centered part of me doesn't fit as well as it did the week before.