Thursday, February 14, 2008

Blast from the Past

Ok, here is a blurb I wrote for our MOPS newsletter 8, yes, EIGHT, years ago for Valentines Day. Funny how some things change, and some things say the same....

Here we go again with Valentine’s Day. Even after almost nine years of marriage, this dumb holiday makes me question how much my husband Scott loves me. It’s ridiculous and completely irrational of me, and I know I do it, but still seem to do it again every year. There is not a gift that he could give me on Valentine’s Day that could prevent me from playing this silly game with myself the following year. The truth is, it has nothing to do with my husband or how he demonstrates his love for me; it’s really about questioning whether or not I believe that I can be loved.
I might be alone in this; maybe I need to seek some help! I kinda don’t think I am alone, though. I think women have a tendency to put a tremendous amount of pressure on their husbands (or even their friends) when they look to other people for security in this area. If I have doubts about my “loveable factor”, another person is not capable of relieving me. I have to dig down deep, I have to do this work myself. Scott can give me temporary fixes, but I have to acknowledge for myself that I can be loved.
You know what? I am loved. I am loved by God, the creator of this universe and me. (Scott loves me too, which is very nice). God loves me, more than I could ever imagine, and He loves you too! Let that sink in a little bit. He made you. Your existence is not a coincidence. He made the earth, the whole galaxy with gazillions of stars and all, and he made YOU. He made you on purpose and has a plan and good things in store for you. He loves you, even when you don’t deserve it. I don’t think God wants us spending our time and energy questioning our lovable-ness. He has made it clear that we are loveable and loved. Don’t fall prey to the silly insecurities like I have in the past. Know that you are loved and believe that you are loved! Saturate yourself with His love. --jad

Well, I'm happy to say this year I am not questioning if/how much Scott loves me. I get it. It's good. He loves me lots. It's really, really good. But it's always good to remember the author of love.
Happy Valentine's Day, loved ones!

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